Pentru c\u00e2teva secunde, totul s-a oprit. Muzica, r\u00e2setele, chiar \u0219i lum\u00e2n\u0103rile p\u0103reau c\u0103 \u0219i-au pierdut flac\u0103ra. Am sim\u021bit cum p\u0103m\u00e2ntul \u00eemi fuge de sub picioare. M-am uitat la Pavel, convins\u0103 c\u0103 e o glum\u0103. O glum\u0103 proast\u0103, dar totu\u0219i o glum\u0103.<\/p>\n
Dar el nu z\u00e2mbea. \u021ainea paharul \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, cu aceea\u0219i expresie calm\u0103, ca \u0219i cum tocmai ar fi spus c\u0103 afar\u0103 plou\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2013 Pavel… ce spui? \u2013 am reu\u0219it s\u0103 \u0219optesc.<\/p>\n
\u00cen jur, s-a l\u0103sat o t\u0103cere ap\u0103s\u0103toare. Irina \u00ee\u0219i dusese m\u00e2na la gur\u0103, iar C\u0103lin \u0219i Alina se uitau la tat\u0103l lor ca \u0219i cum nu-l mai recuno\u0219teau.<\/p>\n
\u2013 Am min\u021bit prea mult timp, \u2013 a spus el, privind \u00een gol. \u2013 Nu mai pot tr\u0103i cu asta.<\/p>\n
Am sim\u021bit cum inima mi se str\u00e2nge. Dou\u0103zeci de ani. Dou\u0103zeci de ani \u00een care am \u00eemp\u0103r\u021bit totul \u2013 o cas\u0103, un pat, bucurii, necazuri, boala tat\u0103lui lui, serile \u00een care l-am a\u0219teptat s\u0103 vin\u0103 de la serviciu. \u0218i acum, \u00een fa\u021ba tuturor, alegea s\u0103 distrug\u0103 totul.<\/p>\n
M-am ridicat \u00eencet. Picioarele \u00eemi tremurau, dar am \u00eencercat s\u0103-mi \u021bin capul sus.<\/p>\n
\u2013 Bine, \u2013 am spus rece. \u2013 Atunci poate e timpul s\u0103 \u00eencepem un nou capitol. F\u0103r\u0103 minciuni.<\/p>\n
Am pus paharul pe mas\u0103 \u0219i am ie\u0219it din restaurant, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 uit \u00eenapoi. Aerul rece al serii m-a izbit \u00een fa\u021b\u0103, dar m-a ajutat s\u0103 respir din nou.<\/p>\n
Am mers pe jos p\u00e2n\u0103 acas\u0103. Tocurile \u00eemi loveau trotuarul ritmic, ca un metronom care m\u0103 \u021binea \u00een via\u021b\u0103. \u00cen capul meu se \u00eenv\u00e2rteau toate amintirile \u2013 vacan\u021bele, zilele de na\u0219tere, serile c\u00e2nd r\u00e2deam \u00eempreun\u0103 la filme vechi. M\u0103 \u00eentrebam care dintre ele fusese real\u0103 \u0219i care doar o scen\u0103 jucat\u0103.<\/p>\n
C\u00e2nd am ajuns acas\u0103, m-am a\u0219ezat pe canapea \u0219i am privit poza noastr\u0103 de la nunt\u0103. Eu, cu flori \u00een p\u0103r, \u0219i el, cu acel z\u00e2mbet sigur de sine. \u201eDin prima zi\u201d, spusese el. Adic\u0103 \u0219i atunci, \u00een ziua aia, min\u021bea?<\/p>\n
Lacrimile au \u00eenceput s\u0103 curg\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 le mai pot opri. Nu erau doar lacrimi de durere, ci \u0219i de furie. Furia unei femei care \u0219i-a construit via\u021ba pe o funda\u021bie de iluzii.<\/p>\n
Diminea\u021ba, Pavel a venit acas\u0103. Avea ochii ro\u0219ii, probabil nu dormise. A \u00eencercat s\u0103 spun\u0103 ceva, dar l-am oprit.<\/p>\n
\u2013 Nu mai e nevoie. Mi-ai spus tot ce trebuia.<\/p>\n
A t\u0103cut. Apoi a oftat \u0219i a plecat, \u00eenchiz\u00e2nd u\u0219a \u00eencet, ca s\u0103 nu m\u0103 trezeasc\u0103 \u2013 un gest de grij\u0103 care acum p\u0103rea doar un reflex gol.<\/p>\n
\u00cen zilele care au urmat, am sim\u021bit c\u0103 m\u0103 scufund. Apoi, treptat, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 respir din nou. M\u0103 duceam la bibliotec\u0103, puneam ordine \u00een rafturi, vorbeam cu oamenii. \u00centr-o zi, o b\u0103tr\u00e2nic\u0103 mi-a spus: \u201eAi ochii tri\u0219ti, dar frumo\u0219i. S\u0103 nu-i la\u0219i s\u0103 se sting\u0103.\u201d Atunci am z\u00e2mbit pentru prima dat\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 pictez, s\u0103 ies \u00een parc, s\u0103 beau cafeaua diminea\u021ba pe balcon. M-am redescoperit \u00eencet, bucat\u0103 cu bucat\u0103. Femeia care tr\u0103ise dou\u0103zeci de ani \u00een umbra altcuiva disp\u0103rea, \u0219i \u00een locul ei ap\u0103rea alta \u2013 mai puternic\u0103, mai vie, mai adev\u0103rat\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u0218i \u00eentr-o zi, \u00een bibliotec\u0103, a intrat un b\u0103rbat \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103, cu o carte \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i un z\u00e2mbet cald. Mi-a spus: \u201eC\u0103utam un roman despre iertare. Poate \u00eemi recomanda\u021bi unul.\u201d Iar eu i-am r\u0103spuns simplu:<\/p>\n
\u2013 Poate c\u0103 iertarea nu se cite\u0219te… se tr\u0103ie\u0219te.<\/p>\n
Atunci am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 via\u021ba mea abia \u00eencepea. C\u0103 nu pierdusem dou\u0103zeci de ani \u2013 c\u00e2\u0219tigasem curajul de a fi eu. Iar asta, oric\u00e2t ar costa, nu se cump\u0103r\u0103 nici cu o via\u021b\u0103 de minciuni, nici cu to\u021bi banii din lume.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Pentru c\u00e2teva secunde, totul s-a oprit. Muzica, r\u00e2setele, chiar \u0219i lum\u00e2n\u0103rile p\u0103reau c\u0103 \u0219i-au pierdut flac\u0103ra. Am sim\u021bit cum p\u0103m\u00e2ntul \u00eemi fuge de sub picioare. M-am uitat la Pavel, convins\u0103 c\u0103 e o glum\u0103. O glum\u0103 proast\u0103, dar totu\u0219i o glum\u0103. Dar el nu z\u00e2mbea. \u021ainea paharul \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, cu aceea\u0219i expresie calm\u0103, ca \u0219i […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10198,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-povesti"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10197"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10199,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10197\/revisions\/10199"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}