\u2026bolnav \u00een faz\u0103 terminal\u0103.<\/p>\n
Diagnostic: carcinom pancreatic avansat, stadiul IV. Scrisoarea era de la oncologul lui, explic\u00e2nd severitatea bolii \u0219i \u0219ansele infime de supravie\u021buire. Fusese scris\u0103 cu dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u00eenainte.<\/p>\n
M-am pr\u0103bu\u0219it pe podea cu scrisoarea \u00een m\u00e2ini. Ochii mi se umpleau de lacrimi, dar tot \u00eencercam s\u0103 citesc p\u00e2n\u0103 la cap\u0103t. Medica\u021bie paliativ\u0103. Recomandare pentru hospice. Un num\u0103r de telefon pentru consiliere psihologic\u0103. Nume medicale \u0219i termeni clinici, dar tot ce \u00een\u021belegeam era: moarte. Iminent\u0103.<\/p>\n
Toate acele semne care \u00eemi d\u0103duser\u0103 de g\u00e2ndit \u2014 ie\u0219irile dese, minciunile despre bani, telefoanele ascunse \u2014 nu aveau leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu o alt\u0103 femeie. Aveau leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu suferin\u021ba. Cu teama. Cu disperarea de a-mi ascunde adev\u0103rul pentru a nu m\u0103 r\u0103ni.<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi amintesc: serile \u00een care spunea c\u0103 merge s\u0103 se plimbe pentru a-\u0219i limpezi g\u00e2ndurile… de fapt, erau drumuri la spital. Banii \u201echeltui\u021bi pe prostii\u201d mergeau, probabil, pe tratamente, consulta\u021bii, vitamine sau suplimente despre care credea c\u0103 l-ar putea salva. Telefonul? Plin, poate, de mesaje cu medici sau noti\u021be despre ultimele analize.<\/p>\n
M-am sim\u021bit at\u00e2t de mic\u0103, at\u00e2t de vinovat\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u0218i totu\u0219i, nu-mi spusese nimic. Timp de dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u2014 sau poate mai mult \u2014 a dus acest co\u0219mar singur. De ce?<\/p>\n
R\u0103spunsul l-am g\u0103sit \u00eentr-o agend\u0103 neagr\u0103, pe care am descoperit-o \u00een dulapul lui, \u00eentre c\u0103m\u0103\u0219i. Era un jurnal. Pagini pline cu scris de m\u00e2n\u0103, pline de frici, planuri \u0219i g\u00e2nduri amare.<\/p>\n
\u201eNu pot s\u0103-i spun. Se va pr\u0103bu\u0219i. Mereu m-a v\u0103zut ca pe st\u00e2nca ei. Cum s\u0103-i ar\u0103t c\u0103 m\u0103 destram?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201eNu vreau ca ultimele ei luni cu mine s\u0103 fie despre spitale \u0219i tratamente. Vreau s\u0103 r\u00e2dem, s\u0103 g\u0103tim \u00eempreun\u0103, s\u0103 dans\u0103m \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201eDac\u0103 m\u0103 vede pl\u00e2ng\u00e2nd, \u00ee\u0219i va aminti doar lacrimile. Nu vreau s\u0103 fie asta amintirea cu care r\u0103m\u00e2ne.\u201d<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenchis jurnalul cu m\u00e2inile tremur\u00e2nde.<\/p>\n
Trei ore mai t\u00e2rziu, so\u021bul meu a intrat pe u\u0219\u0103. P\u0103rea epuizat. Avea cearc\u0103ne ad\u00e2nci \u0219i ochii ro\u0219ii.<\/p>\n
M-am dus la el \u0219i, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 spun un cuv\u00e2nt, l-am str\u00e2ns \u00een bra\u021be. Am sim\u021bit cum corpul lui se \u00eenmoaie. A \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103. F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 mai ascund\u0103 nimic.<\/p>\n
\u201e\u0218tiu\u201d, i-am \u0219optit.<\/p>\n
S-a uitat la mine speriat. Apoi, ca un copil care nu mai poate purta o masc\u0103, a c\u0103zut \u00een genunchi \u0219i a spus: \u201e\u00cemi pare r\u0103u. Voiam doar s\u0103 te protejez\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
L-am \u021binut de m\u00e2n\u0103, acolo, pe podea, \u0219i i-am promis c\u0103 nu va mai fi singur nicio clip\u0103.<\/p>\n
Au urmat luni grele. \u00cent\u00e2lniri la spital, tratamente epuizante, nop\u021bi albe. Dar am fost \u00eempreun\u0103. Am r\u00e2s \u0219i am pl\u00e2ns, am povestit, am stat t\u0103cu\u021bi privind apusuri de soare, \u021bin\u00e2ndu-ne de m\u00e2n\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u0218i \u00eentr-o diminea\u021b\u0103 de toamn\u0103, cu muzica lui preferat\u0103 \u00een fundal, s-a stins. \u00cen bra\u021bele mele. F\u0103r\u0103 team\u0103. F\u0103r\u0103 durere.<\/p>\n
Camera ascuns\u0103, aceea pe care o montasem ca s\u0103 prind o tr\u0103dare, mi-a ar\u0103tat, de fapt, cea mai profund\u0103 dovad\u0103 de iubire. Un b\u0103rbat care \u0219i-a dus suferin\u021ba singur, doar pentru a-mi proteja inima.<\/p>\n
Nu l-am tr\u0103dat niciodat\u0103, dar m\u0103 voi sim\u021bi pentru totdeauna vinovat\u0103 c\u0103 am suspectat iubirea de minciun\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u2026bolnav \u00een faz\u0103 terminal\u0103. Diagnostic: carcinom pancreatic avansat, stadiul IV. Scrisoarea era de la oncologul lui, explic\u00e2nd severitatea bolii \u0219i \u0219ansele infime de supravie\u021buire. Fusese scris\u0103 cu dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u00eenainte. M-am pr\u0103bu\u0219it pe podea cu scrisoarea \u00een m\u00e2ini. Ochii mi se umpleau de lacrimi, dar tot \u00eencercam s\u0103 citesc p\u00e2n\u0103 la cap\u0103t. Medica\u021bie paliativ\u0103. Recomandare […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1283,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-povesti"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1282"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1282\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1284,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1282\/revisions\/1284"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}