Nu \u0219tiu c\u00e2t timp am r\u0103mas acolo, nemi\u0219cat\u0103, cu ochii lipi\u021bi de fotografia aceea. Parc\u0103 priveam propria mea imagine, doar c\u0103 era pus\u0103 pe o piatr\u0103 rece, \u00eenconjurat\u0103 de lum\u00e2n\u0103ri stinse \u0219i de un aer greu, care-mi ap\u0103sa pieptul. Am sim\u021bit cum mi se str\u00e2nge g\u00e2tul, iar picioarele \u00eemi tremurau ca atunci c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi fuge p\u0103m\u00e2ntul de sub tine.<\/p>\n
Am f\u0103cut un pas \u00eenapoi, apoi \u00eenc\u0103 unul, ca \u0219i cum morm\u00e2ntul acela m-ar fi \u00eempins departe.
Nu putea fi adev\u0103rat. Nu avea cum. \u0218i totu\u0219i\u2026 acolo era.<\/p>\n
O femeie care \u00eemi sem\u0103na at\u00e2t de bine \u00eenc\u00e2t, dac\u0103 nu mi-ar fi spus nimeni c\u0103 e alta, a\u0219 fi putut jura c\u0103 sunt eu.<\/p>\n
Mi-am dus m\u00e2na la gur\u0103 ca s\u0103-mi opresc un suspin, dar tremurul a sc\u0103pat oricum, prelung, dureros, ca \u0219i cum cineva mi-ar fi r\u0103sucit sufletul \u00een piept.<\/p>\n
\u00cen mintea mea se \u00eengr\u0103m\u0103deau \u00eentreb\u0103ri pe care nu voiam s\u0103 le pun.
Ce ascundea so\u021bul meu?
De ce nu voia s\u0103 vin aici?
De ce sem\u0103na femeia asta cu mine\u2026 at\u00e2t de mult?<\/p>\n
Am privit din nou fotografia. Aceea\u0219i privire bl\u00e2nd\u0103. Aceea\u0219i form\u0103 a b\u0103rbiei. Aceea\u0219i nuan\u021b\u0103 a p\u0103rului. Era ca \u0219i cum cineva m-ar fi pictat pe un portret vechi, dar cu ani \u00eenainte s\u0103 m\u0103 nasc.<\/p>\n
M-am a\u0219ezat pe lavi\u021ba de l\u00e2ng\u0103 morm\u00e2nt, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103-mi lini\u0219tesc inima. B\u0103tea at\u00e2t de tare \u00eenc\u00e2t \u00eemi r\u0103suna \u00een urechi. Am \u00eenchis ochii doar c\u00e2teva secunde, dar imaginea ei \u00eemi r\u0103m\u0103sese imprimat\u0103 pe retin\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Doamne\u2026 ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 cu mine? am \u0219optit, mai mult pentru mine.<\/p>\n
V\u00e2ntul adia u\u0219or printre brazi, iar frunzele se mi\u0219cau ca ni\u0219te \u0219oapte. Cimitirul era aproape gol, doar dou\u0103 b\u0103tr\u00e2ne aprindeau lum\u00e2n\u0103ri la c\u00e2teva r\u00e2nduri mai jos. Totul p\u0103rea ireal, de parc\u0103 tr\u0103iam un vis ur\u00e2t.<\/p>\n
\u0218tiam c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 plec, dar ceva m\u0103 \u021binea acolo. O parte din mine voia s\u0103 fug\u0103, s\u0103 uite tot, s\u0103 m\u0103 prefac c\u0103 n-am v\u0103zut nimic. Dar alt\u0103 parte, mai puternic\u0103, sim\u021bea c\u0103 dac\u0103 plec f\u0103r\u0103 r\u0103spunsuri, nu voi mai avea niciodat\u0103 lini\u0219te.<\/p>\n
A\u0219a c\u0103 am r\u0103mas. Am stat c\u00e2teva minute bune, respir\u00e2nd \u00eencet, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00een piept mi s-a a\u0219ezat o hot\u0103r\u00e2re grea.<\/p>\n
Trebuia s\u0103 aflu adev\u0103rul.<\/p>\n
M-am ridicat \u0219i am privit din nou fotografia, de data asta cu mai pu\u021bin\u0103 team\u0103 \u0219i mai mult\u0103 curiozitate. Sub poz\u0103 era un nume rom\u00e2nesc, unul simplu, obi\u0219nuit. O femeie n\u0103scut\u0103 cu treizeci de ani \u00eenaintea mea. Decedat\u0103 \u00eentr-un accident. At\u00e2t scria.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Dac\u0103 e un semn? m-am trezit \u00eentreb\u00e2nd cu voce joas\u0103.<\/p>\n
Mormintele nu r\u0103spund, dar lini\u0219tea de acolo avea ceva ap\u0103s\u0103tor, ca \u0219i cum m\u0103 invita s\u0103 sap mai ad\u00e2nc, s\u0103 nu m\u0103 opresc la prima \u00eentrebare.<\/p>\n
Am pornit spre ma\u0219in\u0103, cu pa\u0219i mici, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 nu m\u0103 uit \u00eenapoi. Dar nu m-am putut ab\u021bine. M-am \u00eentors o ultim\u0103 dat\u0103 \u0219i am v\u0103zut buchetul de flori c\u0103zut l\u00e2ng\u0103 piatr\u0103, culcat pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt.<\/p>\n
\u00cen clipa aceea, lacrimile mi-au dat n\u0103val\u0103.
Nu pentru ea.
Nu pentru mine.
Ci pentru ceva ce sim\u021beam c\u0103 urmeaz\u0103 s\u0103 se rup\u0103 \u00een via\u021ba mea.<\/p>\n
Pe drumul spre cas\u0103, m\u00e2inile mi-au transpirat pe volan, iar mintea \u00eemi fugea \u00een toate direc\u021biile. \u00cel iubeam. \u00cel iubeam cu tot sufletul. Dar imaginea aceea\u2026 sem\u0103narea aceea\u2026 \u00eemi sp\u0103rgea \u00eencrederea buc\u0103\u021bic\u0103 cu buc\u0103\u021bic\u0103.<\/p>\n
C\u00e2nd am intrat \u00een curte, l-am v\u0103zut pe so\u021bul meu a\u0219tept\u00e2nd \u00een prag. P\u0103rea agitat, cu telefonul \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, ca \u0219i cum voia s\u0103 m\u0103 sune. Ochii lui m-au m\u0103surat din cap p\u00e2n\u0103-n picioare.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Unde ai fost? a \u00eentrebat cu o voce joas\u0103, prea joas\u0103.<\/p>\n
Nu i-am r\u0103spuns imediat. M-am apropiat de el \u0219i am sim\u021bit un nod \u00een g\u00e2t. Nu era furie. Era team\u0103. Nu a mea. A lui.<\/p>\n
\u2014 La morm\u00e2ntul ei, am spus \u00een cele din urm\u0103, \u021bintindu-i privirea.<\/p>\n
Fa\u021ba i s-a albit \u00eentr-o secund\u0103, iar m\u00e2na cu telefonul i-a cobor\u00e2t lent pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 corp.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u021ai-am spus\u2026 c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103\u2026 a \u00eenceput.<\/p>\n
\u2014 De ce sem\u0103n cu ea? l-am \u00eentrerupt.<\/p>\n
T\u0103cerea a c\u0103zut \u00eentre noi ca o piatr\u0103 aruncat\u0103 \u00eentr-o f\u00e2nt\u00e2n\u0103 ad\u00e2nc\u0103.
N-a r\u0103spuns.
Nu \u0219i-a ridicat privirea.
Doar respira, scurt \u0219i sacadat.<\/p>\n
Atunci am \u0219tiut.<\/p>\n
\u00cen t\u0103cerea aceea, \u00een ezitarea aceea, \u00een privirea care se ferea de a mea\u2026 era ascuns adev\u0103rul pe care \u00eel c\u0103utasem. Un adev\u0103r greu, dureros, dar necesar.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Spune-mi tot, am cerut. Acum. F\u0103r\u0103 ocoli\u0219uri.<\/p>\n
Pentru o clip\u0103 am sim\u021bit c\u0103 vrea s\u0103 fug\u0103 \u00een loc s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103. Dar apoi \u0219i-a ridicat ochii spre mine, iar \u00een ei am v\u0103zut ceva ce nu mai v\u0103zusem niciodat\u0103: vin\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Haide \u00een cas\u0103, a spus \u00eencet. Trebuie\u2026 trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi explic ceva. Tot.<\/p>\n
\u0218i abia atunci, \u00een lini\u0219tea aceea dintre doi oameni care nu mai puteau fugi de adev\u0103r, am sim\u021bit c\u0103 via\u021ba mea pe care o \u0219tiam p\u00e2n\u0103 atunci era pe cale s\u0103 se schimbe pentru totdeauna.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Nu \u0219tiu c\u00e2t timp am r\u0103mas acolo, nemi\u0219cat\u0103, cu ochii lipi\u021bi de fotografia aceea. Parc\u0103 priveam propria mea imagine, doar c\u0103 era pus\u0103 pe o piatr\u0103 rece, \u00eenconjurat\u0103 de lum\u00e2n\u0103ri stinse \u0219i de un aer greu, care-mi ap\u0103sa pieptul. Am sim\u021bit cum mi se str\u00e2nge g\u00e2tul, iar picioarele \u00eemi tremurau ca atunci c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi fuge […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13643,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13642","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-povesti"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13642","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13642"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13642\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13644,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13642\/revisions\/13644"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}