M\u0103 pref\u0103ceam c\u0103 nu-mi pas\u0103.<\/p>\n
Dar fiecare zvon deschidea rana din nou.<\/p>\n
P\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am \u00eemplinit dou\u0103zeci \u0219i patru de ani.<\/p>\n
\u00cen ziua aceea, tata a f\u0103cut enchiladas\u2026 adic\u0103, cum \u00eei ie\u0219eau lui mai bine, ni\u0219te cl\u0103tite umplute \u0219i gratinate, surorile mele au adus tort \u0219i am c\u00e2ntat la masa veche din buc\u0103t\u0103rie.<\/p>\n
Am r\u00e2s.<\/p>\n
Am f\u0103cut poze.<\/p>\n
Ne-am pref\u0103cut, a\u0219a cum \u00eenv\u0103\u021basem deja, c\u0103 eram o familie reparat\u0103 \u0219i suficient\u0103.<\/p>\n
C\u00e2nd to\u021bi au plecat, Sofia a r\u0103mas \u00een u\u0219a camerei mele.<\/p>\n
Nu mai era feti\u021ba care \u00ee\u0219i str\u00e2ngea p\u0103pu\u0219a pe hol.<\/p>\n
Avea optsprezece ani \u0219i o expresie serioas\u0103 care m-a speriat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Vale \u2014 mi-a spus \u2014 trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi ar\u0103t ceva.<\/p>\n
A scos din rucsac o pung\u0103 veche de plastic, legat\u0103 cu dou\u0103 noduri.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Am g\u0103sit-o \u00een cutia lui tata.<\/p>\n
Am sim\u021bit un fior rece pe \u0219ira spin\u0103rii.<\/p>\n
\u00cen\u0103untru era o fotografie cu mama, o scrisoare nedeschis\u0103 \u0219i o foaie \u00eemp\u0103turit\u0103 pe care era scris numele meu.<\/p>\n
Dar scrisul nu era al meu.<\/p>\n
Era al ei.<\/p>\n
Sofia a \u00eenghi\u021bit \u00een sec, s-a uitat la mine cu ochii plini de ceva ce n-am \u0219tiut s\u0103 numesc \u0219i a spus:<\/p>\n
\u2014 Tata n-a vrut niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 cite\u0219ti asta.<\/p>\n
Am luat h\u00e2rtia cu m\u00e2inile tremur\u00e2nde.<\/p>\n
Pentru c\u00e2teva secunde doar am privit scrisul mamei.<\/p>\n
\u00cel recuno\u0219team imediat.<\/p>\n
Rotund.
\nGr\u0103bit.
\nExact cum scria bile\u021belele pe frigider c\u00e2nd eram mici.<\/p>\n
\u201eVale, pune puiul la dezghe\u021bat.\u201d
\n\u201eNu uita serbarea Sofiei.\u201d
\n\u201eTe iubesc.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mi s-a str\u00e2ns stomacul.<\/p>\n
\u2014 De unde ai g\u0103sit-o?<\/p>\n
\u2014 Tata a le\u0219inat acum dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni la munc\u0103 \u2014 a spus Sofia \u00eencet. \u2014 C\u00e2nd l-am dus acas\u0103, am c\u0103utat actele pentru spital. Era \u00eentr-o cutie, sub pat.<\/p>\n
Am ridicat privirea speriat\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Cum adic\u0103 a le\u0219inat?<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu e grav. Doctorul a zis c\u0103 e stres \u0219i oboseal\u0103. Dar\u2026 cred c\u0103 ascunde multe de noi.<\/p>\n
Am desf\u0103cut foaia.<\/p>\n
Pe primul r\u00e2nd scria:<\/p>\n
\u201eFiicei mele Valeria, dac\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi ai nevoie s\u0103 \u0219tii adev\u0103rul.\u201d<\/p>\n
Am sim\u021bit cum \u00eemi amor\u021besc degetele.<\/p>\n
Sofia s-a a\u0219ezat l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 spun\u0103 nimic.<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 citesc.<\/p>\n
\u201eVale,<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 cite\u0219ti asta, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 tat\u0103l t\u0103u a decis \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it c\u0103 meri\u021bi s\u0103 afli adev\u0103rul complet.<\/p>\n
\u00cen ziua \u00een care am plecat, nu am plecat doar din cauza aventurii cu Ramiro. Asta a fost gre\u0219eala mea \u0219i o s\u0103-mi par\u0103 r\u0103u toat\u0103 via\u021ba. Dar motivul pentru care n-am mai avut puterea s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n a fost altul.\u201d<\/p>\n
M-am oprit.<\/p>\n
Inima \u00eemi b\u0103tea at\u00e2t de tare \u00eenc\u00e2t abia vedeam r\u00e2ndurile.<\/p>\n
Am continuat.<\/p>\n
\u201eCu \u0219ase luni \u00eenainte s\u0103 m\u0103 descoperi \u00een parcare, doctorii mi-au g\u0103sit o tumor\u0103.\u201d<\/p>\n
Am sim\u021bit c\u0103 aerul dispare din camer\u0103.<\/p>\n
Sofia \u0219i-a dus m\u00e2na la gur\u0103.<\/p>\n
Am citit mai departe cu voce tremurat\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u201eEra agresiv\u0103. Mi-au spus c\u0103 tratamentul va fi lung \u0219i c\u0103 existau \u0219anse mari s\u0103 nu supravie\u021buiesc. Ramiro m-a ajutat cu bani pentru investiga\u021bii. Acolo a \u00eenceput totul. Nu \u00eencerc s\u0103 m\u0103 scuz. Te-am r\u0103nit \u0219i pentru asta merit s\u0103 fiu judecat\u0103.<\/p>\n
Dar \u00een noaptea \u00een care tu i-ai spus tat\u0103lui t\u0103u ce ai v\u0103zut, el mi-a spus ceva ce nu vei afla niciodat\u0103 de la altcineva.<\/p>\n
Mi-a spus c\u0103 dac\u0103 vreau s\u0103 plec, s\u0103 plec complet.<\/p>\n
Nu pentru el.
\nPentru voi.<\/p>\n
Nu voia ca fetele s\u0103 m\u0103 vad\u0103 sting\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 \u00eencet.\u201d<\/p>\n
M-am ridicat brusc.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu\u2026 nu\u2026<\/p>\n
Sofia pl\u00e2ngea deja.<\/p>\n
Am continuat s\u0103 citesc.<\/p>\n
\u201eValeria, tat\u0103l t\u0103u m-a ur\u00e2t pentru ce am f\u0103cut. Dar \u00eenc\u0103 m\u0103 iubea suficient \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 accepte s\u0103 devenim noi vinova\u021bii, numai ca voi s\u0103 nu cre\u0219te\u021bi l\u00e2ng\u0103 frica bolii \u0219i a mor\u021bii.<\/p>\n
Eu am acceptat.<\/p>\n
\u0218i da\u2026 am fost crud\u0103 cu tine \u00een ziua aceea.<\/p>\n
Te-am \u00eenvinov\u0103\u021bit pentru c\u0103 aveam nevoie s\u0103 m\u0103 ur\u0103\u0219ti.
\nEra mai u\u0219or s\u0103 plec dac\u0103 nu m\u0103 opreai.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lacrimile \u00eemi c\u0103deau direct pe h\u00e2rtie.<\/p>\n
Toat\u0103 via\u021ba mea fusese construit\u0103 pe o propozi\u021bie care nu era adev\u0103rat\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u201eN-am avut alt copil.
\nN-am avut via\u021ba frumoas\u0103 despre care vorbeau oamenii.
\nAm f\u0103cut chimioterapie singur\u0103 \u00eentr-un ora\u0219 unde nimeni nu m\u0103 cuno\u0219tea.<\/p>\n
Iar \u00een fiecare aniversare m-am \u00eentrebat dac\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi aminte\u0219ti cum \u00ee\u021bi f\u0103ceam codi\u021be \u00eenainte de \u0219coal\u0103.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nu mai puteam respira normal.<\/p>\n
\u2014 De ce ne-ar ascunde tata asta? \u2014 a \u0219optit Sofia.<\/p>\n
Exact atunci s-a auzit cheia \u00een u\u0219\u0103.<\/p>\n
Tata.<\/p>\n
A intrat obosit, cu saco\u0219e \u00een m\u00e2ini, \u0219i a \u00eencremenit c\u00e2nd a v\u0103zut scrisoarea.<\/p>\n
Fa\u021ba i s-a golit de culoare.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Cine v-a dat asta?<\/p>\n
Vocea lui era mai speriat\u0103 dec\u00e2t furioas\u0103.<\/p>\n
M-am ridicat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 E adev\u0103rat?<\/p>\n
N-a r\u0103spuns imediat.<\/p>\n
A l\u0103sat saco\u0219ele jos \u0219i s-a a\u0219ezat \u00eencet pe scaun, de parc\u0103 \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nise dintr-odat\u0103 zece ani.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Da.<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng cu un sunet pe care nu-l mai auzisem niciodat\u0103 ie\u0219ind din mine.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Toat\u0103 via\u021ba am crezut c\u0103 am distrus familia\u2026<\/p>\n
Tata \u0219i-a acoperit fa\u021ba cu palmele.<\/p>\n
\u2014 N-ai distrus nimic, Vale. Mama ta era deja bolnav\u0103. Eu\u2026 eu am crezut c\u0103 fac ce e mai bine.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Dar de ce ne-ai l\u0103sat s-o ur\u00e2m?!<\/p>\n
Ochii lui s-au umplut de lacrimi.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Pentru c\u0103 ea m-a rugat. \u0218i pentru c\u0103 eram furios. At\u00e2t de furios \u00eenc\u00e2t uneori era mai simplu s\u0103 las ura s\u0103 fac\u0103 ordine \u00een locul durerii.<\/p>\n
Camera a r\u0103mas \u00een t\u0103cere.<\/p>\n
Apoi am \u00eentrebat \u00eencet:<\/p>\n
\u2014 Unde e acum?<\/p>\n
Tata a \u00eenchis ochii.<\/p>\n
\u2014 A murit acum trei ani.<\/p>\n
Cuvintele acelea m-au lovit ca un zid.<\/p>\n
Trei ani.<\/p>\n
Mama murise \u0219i eu nici m\u0103car nu \u0219tiusem.<\/p>\n
\u2014 A l\u0103sat scrisorile astea pentru voi \u00eenainte s\u0103 moar\u0103 \u2014 a spus tata. \u2014 Dar n-am avut curajul s\u0103 vi le dau.<\/p>\n
Sofia s-a dus \u0219i l-a \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219at prima.<\/p>\n
Eu am r\u0103mas nemi\u0219cat\u0103 c\u00e2teva secunde.<\/p>\n
Apoi m-am apropiat \u0219i eu.<\/p>\n
\u0218i pentru prima dat\u0103 dup\u0103 doisprezece ani, tata a \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 \u00een bra\u021bele noastre.<\/p>\n
Nu ca un tat\u0103 puternic.<\/p>\n
Ci ca un om obosit s\u0103 mai poarte singur toate secretele.<\/p>\n
\u00cen noaptea aceea am citit toate scrisorile mamei.<\/p>\n
Despre tratamente.
\nDespre fric\u0103.
\nDespre c\u00e2t de dor \u00eei era de noi.
\nDespre cum p\u0103stra \u00eentr-o cutie desenele Sofiei \u0219i pozele de la absolvirea mea.<\/p>\n
\u0218i printre toate r\u00e2ndurile acelea dureroase am \u00een\u021beles ceva ce mi-a luat ani s\u0103 accept:<\/p>\n
Uneori adul\u021bii gre\u0219esc at\u00e2t de r\u0103u \u00eenc\u00e2t ajung s\u0103 distrug\u0103 exact oamenii pe care \u00eencercau s\u0103-i protejeze.<\/p>\n
Dar iubirea poate exista chiar \u0219i \u00een mijlocul unei tragedii ur\u00e2te.<\/p>\n
Iar \u00een noaptea \u00een care mama a plecat \u0219i mi-a spus c\u0103 e vina mea\u2026 adev\u0103rul era c\u0103 \u00eencerca s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 mai u\u0219oar\u0103 desp\u0103r\u021birea.<\/p>\n
Doar c\u0103 durerea nu \u0219tie niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 plece curat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
M\u0103 pref\u0103ceam c\u0103 nu-mi pas\u0103. Dar fiecare zvon deschidea rana din nou. P\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am \u00eemplinit dou\u0103zeci \u0219i patru de ani. \u00cen ziua aceea, tata a f\u0103cut enchiladas\u2026 adic\u0103, cum \u00eei ie\u0219eau lui mai bine, ni\u0219te cl\u0103tite umplute \u0219i gratinate, surorile mele au adus tort \u0219i am c\u00e2ntat la masa veche din buc\u0103t\u0103rie. Am r\u00e2s. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22818,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-povesti"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24760"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24761,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24760\/revisions\/24761"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22818"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}