Altul.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Iulia, r\u0103spunde-mi.<\/p>\n
Altul.<\/p>\n
\u2014 E\u0219ti \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103. Nu trebuie s\u0103 te expui a\u0219a.<\/p>\n
Acolo mi-a disp\u0103rut r\u00e2sul.<\/p>\n
Am deschis chatul \u0219i am scris:<\/p>\n
\u2014 Te deranjeaz\u0103 c\u0103 alt b\u0103rbat \u00eei spune \u201efrumoas\u0103\u201d so\u021biei tale?<\/p>\n
Punctele au ap\u0103rut.<\/p>\n
Au disp\u0103rut.<\/p>\n
Au reap\u0103rut.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu e acela\u0219i lucru.<\/p>\n
M-am a\u0219ezat pe pat, cu telefonul \u00eentr-o m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i cealalt\u0103 pe burt\u0103.<\/p>\n
Bebelu\u0219ul a lovit u\u0219or.<\/p>\n
De parc\u0103 \u0219i el a\u0219tepta minciuna.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Explic\u0103-mi de ce nu e acela\u0219i lucru, Radu.<\/p>\n
A \u00eent\u00e2rziat.<\/p>\n
Apoi a r\u0103spuns:<\/p>\n
\u2014 Pentru c\u0103 ea este trecutul meu.<\/p>\n
M-am uitat la fraza aceea p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd a \u00eencetat s\u0103 mai par\u0103 o fraz\u0103 \u0219i a \u00eenceput s\u0103 par\u0103 o m\u0103rturisire.<\/p>\n
\u00cenainte s\u0103 r\u0103spund, a ap\u0103rut o notificare nou\u0103.<\/p>\n
Nu era de la Radu.<\/p>\n
Era de la fosta lui.<\/p>\n
Tocmai \u00eemi trimisese mesaj.<\/p>\n
Iar c\u00e2nd am deschis conversa\u021bia, primul lucru pe care l-am citit a fost:<\/p>\n
\u2014 Iulia, iart\u0103-m\u0103, dar cred c\u0103 so\u021bul t\u0103u nu \u021bi-a spus tot adev\u0103rul\u2026<\/p>\n
Am sim\u021bit cum mi se r\u0103ce\u0219te stomacul.<\/p>\n
M-am uitat lung la mesaj, convins\u0103 c\u0103 urmeaz\u0103 vreun joc stupid \u00eentre foste \u0219i actuale.<\/p>\n
Dar ea a continuat imediat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu vreau s\u0103-\u021bi distrug familia. Tocmai de asta \u00ee\u021bi scriu.<\/p>\n
Am inspirat ad\u00e2nc.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Atunci spune direct.<\/p>\n
Au trecut aproape dou\u0103 minute p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Radu m\u0103 caut\u0103 de aproape un an.<\/p>\n
Am r\u0103mas nemi\u0219cat\u0103.<\/p>\n
Copilul s-a mi\u0219cat \u00een burt\u0103 exact \u00een clipa aceea.<\/p>\n
De parc\u0103 trupul meu \u0219tia \u00eenaintea min\u021bii.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u201ete caut\u0103\u201d?<\/p>\n
Mi-a trimis capturi de ecran.<\/p>\n
Prima era de acum opt luni.<\/p>\n
\u201eMi-a fost dor de tine.\u201d<\/p>\n
A doua:<\/p>\n
\u201eUneori m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc cum ar fi fost dac\u0103 nu ne desp\u0103r\u021beam.\u201d<\/p>\n
A treia:<\/p>\n
\u201eNu pot vorbi acum. Iulia e acas\u0103.\u201d<\/p>\n
Am sim\u021bit c\u0103 \u00eemi amor\u021besc degetele.<\/p>\n
Nu pl\u00e2ngeam.<\/p>\n
\u00cenc\u0103 nu.<\/p>\n
Era ceva mai r\u0103u dec\u00e2t pl\u00e2nsul.<\/p>\n
Era momentul acela \u00een care \u00eencepi s\u0103 refaci \u00een minte fiecare conversa\u021bie, fiecare sear\u0103, fiecare \u201estau peste program\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu am r\u0103spuns la \u00eenceput, a scris ea. Dar acum dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni a venit la cafeneaua unde lucrez.<\/p>\n
Mi-am str\u00e2ns telefonul at\u00e2t de tare \u00eenc\u00e2t m-a durut palma.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u0218i?<\/p>\n
\u2014 A spus c\u0103 se simte blocat. C\u0103 \u00eei e fric\u0103 s\u0103 devin\u0103 tat\u0103. C\u0103 nu te mai recunoa\u0219te.<\/p>\n
Acolo m-a lovit.<\/p>\n
Nu pentru c\u0103 un b\u0103rbat m\u0103 putea \u00een\u0219ela.<\/p>\n
Ci pentru c\u0103 eu \u00eemi schimbasem tot corpul, tot somnul, toat\u0103 via\u021ba pentru copilul nostru\u2026 iar el transformase asta \u00eentr-o scuz\u0103 ca s\u0103 fug\u0103 spre trecut.<\/p>\n
\u2014 S-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat ceva \u00eentre voi? am \u00eentrebat direct.<\/p>\n
R\u0103spunsul a venit imediat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu. \u0218i de asta \u00ee\u021bi scriu. Pentru c\u0103 eu l-am iubit c\u00e2ndva, dar ce face acum e ur\u00e2t.<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng \u00een lini\u0219te.<\/p>\n
\u00cen sf\u00e2r\u0219it.<\/p>\n
Nu isteric.<\/p>\n
Nu dramatic.<\/p>\n
Doar lacrimi grele care c\u0103deau una dup\u0103 alta pe ecran.<\/p>\n
Apoi ea a trimis ultimul mesaj:<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu e\u0219ti nebun\u0103, Iulia. \u0218i nu e\u0219ti mai pu\u021bin frumoas\u0103 pentru c\u0103 ai devenit mam\u0103.<\/p>\n
Acolo m-am rupt complet.<\/p>\n
Pentru c\u0103 exact asta \u00eencercase Radu s\u0103 m\u0103 fac\u0103 s\u0103 cred f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 spun\u0103 direct.<\/p>\n
C\u0103 devenisem \u201eprea\u201d.
\nPrea sensibil\u0103.
\nPrea schimbat\u0103.
\nPrea mam\u0103.<\/p>\n
U\u0219a dormitorului s-a deschis.<\/p>\n
Radu a intrat cu fa\u021ba tensionat\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Cu cine vorbe\u0219ti?<\/p>\n
Am ridicat telefonul f\u0103r\u0103 grab\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Cu trecutul t\u0103u.<\/p>\n
A \u00eencremenit.<\/p>\n
\u0218i expresia lui mi-a confirmat tot \u00eenainte s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Iulia\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2014 De c\u00e2t timp?<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat nimic.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu asta am \u00eentrebat.<\/p>\n
A trecut m\u00e2na prin p\u0103r.<\/p>\n
Gestul lui clasic c\u00e2nd era prins.<\/p>\n
\u2014 De c\u00e2teva luni vorbim.<\/p>\n
Mi s-a f\u0103cut grea\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u00cen timp ce eu alegeam p\u0103tu\u021buri \u0219i nume de copii?<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu era serios.<\/p>\n
Am r\u00e2s printre lacrimi.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ah, perfect. Atunci m\u0103 simt mult mai bine.<\/p>\n
A \u00eencercat s\u0103 se apropie.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu dramatiza. Eram confuz.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Confuz?<\/p>\n
M-am ridicat greu de pe pat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Eu sunt \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103 \u00een \u0219apte luni, Radu. Mi se umfl\u0103 picioarele, nu creierul.<\/p>\n
A t\u0103cut.<\/p>\n
Pentru prima dat\u0103 nu mai avea explica\u021bii inteligente.<\/p>\n
Doar ru\u0219ine.<\/p>\n
\u0218i ego.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Te-ai schimbat mult \u00een ultimul an, a spus \u00eencet.<\/p>\n
Acolo s-a terminat ceva \u00een mine.<\/p>\n
Nu cu \u021bipete.<\/p>\n
Nu cu scandal.<\/p>\n
Pur \u0219i simplu s-a stins.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Normal c\u0103 m-am schimbat. Construiesc un om.<\/p>\n
El a cobor\u00e2t privirea.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu am vrut s\u0103 te r\u0103nesc.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Dar ai f\u0103cut-o.<\/p>\n
Am mers spre dulap \u0219i am \u00eenceput s\u0103 scot haine.<\/p>\n
S-a panicat imediat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ce faci?<\/p>\n
\u2014 M\u0103 duc la mama c\u00e2teva zile.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Pentru ni\u0219te mesaje?!<\/p>\n
M-am \u00eentors spre el.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu. Pentru lipsa de respect care le-a scris.<\/p>\n
A \u00eencercat s\u0103 \u00eemi ia valiza.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Hai s\u0103 vorbim ca doi adul\u021bi.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Exact asta fac.<\/p>\n
Mi-am pus m\u00e2na pe burt\u0103.<\/p>\n
Copilul se mi\u0219ca lini\u0219tit acum.<\/p>\n
Ciudat.<\/p>\n
De parc\u0103 \u0219i el \u00een\u021belesese c\u0103 t\u0103cerea e uneori mai sigur\u0103 dec\u00e2t iubirea gre\u0219it\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u00cenainte s\u0103 ies din camer\u0103, Radu a spus \u00eencet:<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u00cel iubesc pe copilul nostru.<\/p>\n
M-am oprit o secund\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u0218i eu. De asta nu vreau s\u0103 creasc\u0103 \u00eentr-o cas\u0103 unde mama lui trebuie s\u0103 concureze cu fantome.<\/p>\n
La mama am dormit aproape paisprezece ore.<\/p>\n
C\u00e2nd m-am trezit, aveam peste treizeci de apeluri pierdute.<\/p>\n
Dar unul singur m-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 m\u0103 opresc.<\/p>\n
Era de la fosta lui.<\/p>\n
Am r\u0103spuns.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Bun\u0103\u2026<\/p>\n
Vocea ei era obosit\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Doar voiam s\u0103 \u0219tiu dac\u0103 e\u0219ti bine.<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenchis ochii.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu \u0219tiu \u00eenc\u0103.<\/p>\n
A t\u0103cut pu\u021bin.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nici eu nu am fost bine c\u00e2nd eram cu el.<\/p>\n
Acolo am \u00een\u021beles ceva important:
\nproblema nu eram eu.<\/p>\n
Nu sarcina.
\nNu corpul meu.
\nNu hormonii.<\/p>\n
Problema era un b\u0103rbat care avea nevoie constant\u0103 s\u0103 fie validat de femei ca s\u0103 se simt\u0103 suficient.<\/p>\n
Dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni mai t\u00e2rziu, Radu a venit la ecografie.<\/p>\n
Nu pentru c\u0103 \u00eel iertasem.<\/p>\n
Ci pentru c\u0103 copilul acela merita doi p\u0103rin\u021bi maturi, chiar dac\u0103 nu mai \u0219tiau s\u0103 fie so\u021b \u0219i so\u021bie.<\/p>\n
\u00cen cabinet, doctori\u021ba a z\u00e2mbit.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Vre\u021bi s\u0103 afla\u021bi sexul?<\/p>\n
M-am uitat spre Radu.<\/p>\n
Avea ochii obosi\u021bi.<\/p>\n
Speria\u021bi.<\/p>\n
Poate pentru prima dat\u0103 \u00een\u021belesese c\u0103 putea s\u0103 m\u0103 piard\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Da, am spus \u00eencet.<\/p>\n
Doctori\u021ba a z\u00e2mbit larg.<\/p>\n
\u2014 O s\u0103 ave\u021bi o feti\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n
Radu a \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 \u00eenaintea mea.<\/p>\n
Iar eu m-am uitat la monitor \u0219i am sim\u021bit un singur lucru clar:<\/p>\n
Fiica mea nu va cre\u0219te niciodat\u0103 crez\u00e2nd c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 se fac\u0103 mic\u0103 pentru ca un b\u0103rbat s\u0103 se simt\u0103 mare.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Altul. \u2014 Iulia, r\u0103spunde-mi. Altul. \u2014 E\u0219ti \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103. Nu trebuie s\u0103 te expui a\u0219a. Acolo mi-a disp\u0103rut r\u00e2sul. Am deschis chatul \u0219i am scris: \u2014 Te deranjeaz\u0103 c\u0103 alt b\u0103rbat \u00eei spune \u201efrumoas\u0103\u201d so\u021biei tale? Punctele au ap\u0103rut. Au disp\u0103rut. Au reap\u0103rut. \u2014 Nu e acela\u0219i lucru. M-am a\u0219ezat pe pat, cu telefonul \u00eentr-o m\u00e2n\u0103 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22818,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-povesti"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24868"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24868\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24869,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24868\/revisions\/24869"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22818"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}