{"id":2816,"date":"2025-08-03T10:47:54","date_gmt":"2025-08-03T10:47:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/?p=2816"},"modified":"2025-08-03T10:47:54","modified_gmt":"2025-08-03T10:47:54","slug":"bancul-zilei-un-batran-isi-suna-fiul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/?p=2816","title":{"rendered":"BANCUL ZILEI: Un b\u0103tr\u00e2n \u00ee\u0219i sun\u0103 fiul:"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-start=\"58\" data-end=\"409\"><strong data-start=\"58\" data-end=\"75\">BANCUL ZILEI:<\/strong><br data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"78\" \/>Un b\u0103tr\u00e2n \u00ee\u0219i sun\u0103 fiul:<br data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"105\" \/>\u2013 Ascult\u0103, eu \u0219i mama ta divor\u021b\u0103m. Patruzeci \u0219i cinci de ani de chin sunt suficien\u021bi.<br data-start=\"190\" data-end=\"193\" \/>\u2013 Tat\u0103, despre ce vorbe\u0219ti?! \u2013 strig\u0103 fiul.<br data-start=\"236\" data-end=\"239\" \/>\u2013 Nu ne mai suport\u0103m, \u2013 r\u0103spunde b\u0103tr\u00e2nul. \u2013 M-am s\u0103turat s\u0103-i v\u0103d fa\u021ba \u0219i m-am s\u0103turat s\u0103 tot vorbesc despre asta. Sun-o pe sor\u0103-ta \u0219i spune-i, \u2013 \u0219i \u00eenchide telefonul.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"411\" data-end=\"485\">Fiul, \u00eengrijorat, o sun\u0103 pe sora lui:<br data-start=\"448\" data-end=\"451\" \/>\u2013 Ce?! Divor\u021beaz\u0103?! \u2013 strig\u0103 ea.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"487\" data-end=\"691\">Ea \u00eel sun\u0103 imediat pe tat\u0103l lor:<br data-start=\"519\" data-end=\"522\" \/>\u2013 NU divor\u021ba\u021bi! Eu \u0219i frate-meu venim m\u00e2ine s\u0103 discut\u0103m cu voi. P\u00e2n\u0103 atunci, s\u0103 nu vorbi\u021bi cu niciun avocat \u0219i s\u0103 nu semna\u021bi nimic. M\u0102 AUZI\u021aI?! \u2013 \u0219i \u00eenchide telefonul.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"693\" data-end=\"813\">B\u0103tr\u00e2nul se \u00eentoarce spre so\u021bia lui \u0219i spune:<br data-start=\"738\" data-end=\"741\" \/>\u2013 Gata, vin am\u00e2ndoi de Cr\u0103ciun \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i pl\u0103tesc singuri biletele de avion.<\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"815\" data-end=\"818\" \/>\n<p data-start=\"820\" data-end=\"1290\"><strong data-start=\"820\" data-end=\"847\">CU O ZI \u00ceNAINTE DE AJUN<\/strong><br data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"850\" \/>Un b\u0103rbat din Minneapolis \u00ee\u0219i sun\u0103 fiul, care locuia de c\u00e2\u021biva ani \u00een Chicago.<br data-start=\"928\" data-end=\"931\" \/>\u2013 Fiule drag, \u00eemi pare r\u0103u c\u0103-\u021bi stric ziua, dar trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi spun c\u0103 eu \u0219i mama ta divor\u021b\u0103m. Patruzeci \u0219i cinci de ani de suferin\u021b\u0103 sunt destui.<br data-start=\"1077\" data-end=\"1080\" \/>\u2013 Tat\u0103, ce tot spui?! \u2013 strig\u0103 fiul.<br data-start=\"1116\" data-end=\"1119\" \/>\u2013 Nu ne mai suport\u0103m, \u2013 spune el. \u2013 M-am s\u0103turat de fa\u021ba ei, \u0219i m-am s\u0103turat s\u0103 tot vorbesc despre asta, a\u0219a c\u0103 sun-o pe sor\u0103-ta \u0219i spune-i tu, \u2013 apoi \u00eenchide telefonul.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1292\" data-end=\"1568\">Fiul, tulburat, \u00ee\u0219i sun\u0103 sora. Ea reac\u021bioneaz\u0103 imediat:<br data-start=\"1347\" data-end=\"1350\" \/>\u2013 Cum s\u0103 divor\u021beze?! \u2013 \u0219i \u00eel sun\u0103 pe tat\u0103l lor:<br data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1400\" \/>\u2013 Nu divor\u021ba\u021bi! Nu face\u021bi nimic. Eu \u0219i frate-meu venim m\u00e2ine acas\u0103 s\u0103 discut\u0103m. P\u00e2n\u0103 atunci nu suna\u021bi niciun avocat, nu trimite\u021bi niciun act. M\u0102 AUZI\u021aI? \u2013 \u0219i \u00eenchide.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1570\" data-end=\"1682\">B\u0103tr\u00e2nul se \u00eentoarce spre so\u021bia lui \u0219i zice:<br data-start=\"1614\" data-end=\"1617\" \/>\u2013 Perfect, vin acas\u0103 de Cr\u0103ciun. \u0218i \u00ee\u0219i pl\u0103tesc singuri biletele.<\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"1684\" data-end=\"1687\" \/>\n<p data-start=\"1689\" data-end=\"1766\"><strong data-start=\"1689\" data-end=\"1766\">\u2605\u00a8`*\u2022\u266b.\u2022Trimite mai departe!! D\u0103-le \u0219i altora un motiv s\u0103 z\u00e2mbeasc\u0103. \u266b..\u2022<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"1768\" data-end=\"1771\" \/>\n<p data-start=\"1773\" data-end=\"1969\"><strong data-start=\"1773\" data-end=\"1796\">O POVESTE MAI LUNG\u0102<\/strong><br data-start=\"1796\" data-end=\"1799\" \/>Am g\u0103sit ast\u0103zi aceast\u0103 glum\u0103 pu\u021bin obraznic\u0103. Am spus-o imediat unui prieten, \u0219i a r\u00e2s at\u00e2t de tare \u00eenc\u00e2t l-a durut burta. Recunosc, \u0219i mie mi s-a p\u0103rut foarte amuzant\u0103.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1971\" data-end=\"2467\">O doamn\u0103 \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103 din Montana s-a programat la medic ca s\u0103 cear\u0103 sfaturi despre lipsa de dorin\u021b\u0103 sexual\u0103 a so\u021bului ei.<br data-start=\"2090\" data-end=\"2093\" \/>\u2013 A\u021bi \u00eencercat Viagra? \u2013 a \u00eentrebat medicul.<br data-start=\"2137\" data-end=\"2140\" \/>\u2013 Nici vorb\u0103, \u2013 a r\u0103spuns b\u0103tr\u00e2na, \u2013 el nici m\u0103car aspirin\u0103 nu ia.<br data-start=\"2206\" data-end=\"2209\" \/>\u2013 Nu-i problem\u0103, \u2013 i-a zis medicul. \u2013 \u00cencerca\u021bi Viagra montanez\u0103.<br data-start=\"2274\" data-end=\"2277\" \/>\u2013 Ce-i aia Viagra montanez\u0103?<br data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2308\" \/>\u2013 Foarte simplu. \u00cei pune\u021bi o pastil\u0103 de Viagra \u00een cafea c\u00e2nd nu se uit\u0103. Nu va sim\u021bi gustul. \u00cencerca\u021bi \u0219i suna\u021bi-m\u0103 peste o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103-mi spune\u021bi cum a fost.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2469\" data-end=\"3179\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\">O s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 mai t\u00e2rziu, b\u0103tr\u00e2na \u00eel sun\u0103 pe doctor.<br data-start=\"2519\" data-end=\"2522\" \/>\u2013 Doamne fere\u0219te! A fost groaznic! Groaznic, v\u0103 spun!<br data-start=\"2575\" data-end=\"2578\" \/>\u2013 Serios? Ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat? \u2013 \u00eentreab\u0103 doctorul.<br data-start=\"2626\" data-end=\"2629\" \/>\u2013 Am f\u0103cut exact cum mi-a\u021bi spus, am pus pastila \u00een cafea \u0219i efectul a fost instantaneu&#8230; S-a ridicat din scaun cu ochii arz\u00e2nd, a dat toate ce\u0219tile \u0219i fa\u021ba de mas\u0103 la o parte, mi-a smuls hainele \u0219i m-a luat chiar acolo, pe mas\u0103! A fost un co\u0219mar, domnule doctor, un co\u0219mar!<br data-start=\"2904\" data-end=\"2907\" \/>\u2013 Dar&#8230; dac\u0103 a fost a\u0219a pasional, de ce spune\u021bi c\u0103 a fost groaznic? Nu trebuia s\u0103 fie ceva bun? \u2013 \u00eentreb\u0103 medicul.<br data-start=\"3022\" data-end=\"3025\" \/>\u2013 O, da! A fost cel mai bun lucru care mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat \u00een 25 de ani! Dar pot s\u0103 v\u0103 spun un lucru: nu mai pun niciodat\u0103 piciorul \u00een Starbucks-ul din ora\u0219!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>BANCUL ZILEI:Un b\u0103tr\u00e2n \u00ee\u0219i sun\u0103 fiul:\u2013 Ascult\u0103, eu \u0219i mama ta divor\u021b\u0103m. Patruzeci \u0219i cinci de ani de chin sunt suficien\u021bi.\u2013 Tat\u0103, despre ce vorbe\u0219ti?! \u2013 strig\u0103 fiul.\u2013 Nu ne mai suport\u0103m, \u2013 r\u0103spunde b\u0103tr\u00e2nul. \u2013 M-am s\u0103turat s\u0103-i v\u0103d fa\u021ba \u0219i m-am s\u0103turat s\u0103 tot vorbesc despre asta. Sun-o pe sor\u0103-ta \u0219i spune-i, \u2013 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2817,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2816","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diverse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2816","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2816"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2816\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2818,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2816\/revisions\/2818"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2817"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2816"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2816"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2816"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}