PARTEA 2
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u0103mas \u00een prag, privind plicul din m\u00e2inile soacrei mele. Se numea Elena \u0219i, \u00een cei \u0219apte ani de c\u00e2nd o cuno\u0219team, nu o v\u0103zusem niciodat\u0103 at\u00e2t de schimbat\u0103. Sl\u0103bise, avea cearc\u0103ne ad\u00e2nci, iar m\u00e2inile \u00eei tremurau u\u0219or.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Ce anume trebuia s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 Maria? am \u00eentrebat.
\n\u2800
\nElena \u0219i-a cobor\u00e2t privirea.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Pot s\u0103 intru, Daniel? Cred c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 st\u0103m jos.
\n\u2800
\nM-am dat la o parte \u0219i am l\u0103sat-o s\u0103 treac\u0103. \u00cen sufragerie, cele dou\u0103 feti\u021be dormeau \u00een p\u0103tu\u021burile a\u0219ezate unul l\u00e2ng\u0103 altul. Elena s-a apropiat \u00eencet, le-a privit \u0219i \u0219i-a dus m\u00e2na la gur\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Doamne, c\u00e2t de mult seam\u0103n\u0103 cu ea…
\n\u2800
\nUna dintre gemene a tres\u0103rit \u00een somn, iar Elena i-a m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat delicat picioru\u0219ul. Apoi s-a a\u0219ezat pe canapea \u0219i a pus plicul \u00eentre noi.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u00cenainte s\u0103-l deschizi, trebuie s\u0103 \u0219tii ceva. Maria nu a vrut niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 te r\u0103neasc\u0103. A crezut c\u0103, dac\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi ascunde adev\u0103rul, te protejeaz\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAm sim\u021bit un nod \u00een stomac.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Era bolnav\u0103?
\n\u2800
\nElena a \u00eenchis ochii.
\n\u2800
\nT\u0103cerea ei mi-a dat r\u0103spunsul \u00eenainte s\u0103 rosteasc\u0103 vreun cuv\u00e2nt.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Ce avea? am \u00eentrebat, sim\u021bind cum \u00eemi amor\u021besc m\u00e2inile.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 O problem\u0103 cardiac\u0103, Daniel. Descoperit\u0103 cu aproape un an \u00eenainte s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit-o f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Nu. Maria era s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103. Mergea la serviciu, f\u0103cea plimb\u0103ri, r\u00e2dea, dansa prin buc\u0103t\u0103rie. Niciodat\u0103 nu mi-a spus c\u0103…
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tiu, m-a \u00eentrerupt Elena. Tocmai asta \u00eencerc s\u0103-\u021bi explic.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nA desf\u0103cut plicul \u0219i a scos c\u00e2teva documente medicale, o fotografie \u0219i o scrisoare \u00eemp\u0103turit\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nPe primul document era numele Mariei.
\n\u2800
\nData era de acum unsprezece luni.
\n\u2800
\nAm citit diagnosticul de dou\u0103 ori, dar termenii medicali p\u0103reau s\u0103 nu aib\u0103 niciun sens. Am recunoscut doar c\u00e2teva cuvinte: cardiomiopatie, risc crescut, monitorizare.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Maria avea o afec\u021biune a mu\u0219chiului inimii, mi-a explicat Elena. Medicii \u00eei spuseser\u0103 c\u0103 o sarcin\u0103 putea fi periculoas\u0103 pentru ea \u0219i c\u0103 avea nevoie de evalu\u0103ri \u0219i supraveghere de specialitate.
\n\u2800
\nAm sim\u021bit c\u0103 mi se taie respira\u021bia.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Dar noi \u00eencercam s\u0103 avem un copil…
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tiu.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 De aproape trei ani!
\n\u2800
\nElena a \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tiu, Daniel.
\n\u2800
\nMi-am amintit toate lunile \u00een care Maria pl\u00e2ngea dup\u0103 c\u00e2te un test negativ. Toate consulta\u021biile la care merseser\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103. Toate serile \u00een care o \u021bineam \u00een bra\u021be \u0219i \u00eei spuneam c\u0103 nu conteaz\u0103 dac\u0103 vom avea sau nu copii, fiindc\u0103 eu o iubesc oricum.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 De ce nu mi-a spus?
\n\u2800
\nElena \u0219i-a \u0219ters ochii.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Pentru c\u0103 se temea c\u0103 vei renun\u021ba la visul vostru de a avea copii ca s\u0103 o protejezi.
\n\u2800
\nAm lovit u\u0219or cu palma \u00een genunchi.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Bine\u00een\u021beles c\u0103 a\u0219 fi f\u0103cut-o! A\u0219 fi renun\u021bat la orice pentru ea!
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tiu, Daniel. \u0218i ea \u0219tia.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nM-am ridicat \u0219i am \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 plimb prin camer\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nPe perete era fotografia de la nunta noastr\u0103. Maria purta o rochie simpl\u0103, cu m\u00e2neci din dantel\u0103, iar eu o \u021bineam de mijloc. Z\u00e2mbea at\u00e2t de larg, \u00eenc\u00e2t ochii aproape i se \u00eenchideau.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 \u0219tia c\u0103 ar putea muri?
\n\u2800
\nElena a ezitat.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tia c\u0103 exista un risc serios. Dar nimeni nu \u00eei spusese c\u0103 va muri cu siguran\u021b\u0103. A continuat s\u0103 mearg\u0103 la consulta\u021bii, a primit recomand\u0103ri \u0219i a sperat c\u0103 totul va fi bine.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218i dumneavoastr\u0103 a\u021bi \u0219tiut tot timpul?
\n\u2800
\nSoacra mea a \u00eencuviin\u021bat.
\n\u2800
\nAm sim\u021bit cum \u00eemi cre\u0219te furia.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Timp de aproape un an a\u021bi \u0219tiut \u0219i nu mi-a\u021bi spus nimic?
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\n\u2014 Maria m-a rugat s\u0103 p\u0103strez secretul.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Eram so\u021bul ei!
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\n\u2014 \u0218tiu.
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\n\u2014 Ar fi trebuit s\u0103 fiu l\u00e2ng\u0103 ea! Ar fi trebuit s\u0103 \u0219tim am\u00e2ndoi ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103!
\n\u2800
\nElena a \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 mai tare.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Ai dreptate s\u0103 fii sup\u0103rat. \u0218i eu m-am \u00eentrebat de sute de ori dac\u0103 trebuia s\u0103 insist s\u0103-\u021bi spun\u0103. Dar era fiica mea, Daniel. Era speriat\u0103 \u0219i m-a rugat s\u0103-i respect hot\u0103r\u00e2rea.
\n\u2800
\nM-am oprit l\u00e2ng\u0103 fereastr\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAfar\u0103 ploua m\u0103runt.
\n\u2800
\nMi-am lipit fruntea de geam \u0219i am \u00eenchis ochii.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Am fi putut avea mai mult timp \u00eempreun\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nElena nu a \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 contrazic\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nDup\u0103 c\u00e2teva minute, mi-a \u00eentins scrisoarea.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 A scris-o cu aproximativ dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u00eenainte s\u0103 nasc\u0103. Mi-a l\u0103sat-o mie \u0219i mi-a spus s\u0103 \u021bi-o dau numai dac\u0103 nu va mai avea ocazia s\u0103-\u021bi spun\u0103 adev\u0103rul.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit plicul.
\n\u2800
\nPe el era scris, cu literele ei rotunjite:
\n\u2800
\n\u201ePentru Daniel, omul pe care l-am iubit cel mai mult.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nAm sim\u021bit cum mi se str\u00e2nge pieptul.
\n\u2800
\nNu mai v\u0103zusem scrisul ei de trei luni.
\n\u2800
\nAm desf\u0103cut h\u00e2rtia cu grij\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eDragul meu Daniel,
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\nDac\u0103 cite\u0219ti aceast\u0103 scrisoare, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 nu am reu\u0219it s\u0103-\u021bi spun tot ce ar fi trebuit s\u0103 \u0219tii. \u0218i pentru asta \u00eemi pare r\u0103u.
\n\u2800
\nNu \u0219tiu de unde s\u0103 \u00eencep. Probabil de la ziua \u00een care medicul mi-a spus c\u0103 inima mea nu func\u021bioneaz\u0103 a\u0219a cum ar trebui.
\n\u2800
\nAm ie\u0219it din cabinet \u0219i am stat aproape o or\u0103 \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103, pl\u00e2ng\u00e2nd. Nu pentru c\u0103 \u00eemi era fric\u0103 de moarte, de\u0219i \u00eemi era. Ci pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam la tine.
\n\u2800
\nM\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam cum ai s\u0103 m\u0103 prive\u0219ti, cum ai s\u0103 te \u00eengrijorezi \u0219i cum vei \u00eencerca s\u0103 rezolvi ceva ce poate niciunul dintre noi nu poate controla.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218tiam c\u0103, dac\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi spun, vei pune toate planurile noastre deoparte. Vei spune c\u0103 s\u0103n\u0103tatea mea este mai important\u0103 dec\u00e2t orice copil.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i ai avea dreptate.
\n\u2800
\nDar eu eram at\u00e2t de speriat\u0103 s\u0103 nu pierd via\u021ba pe care o visam \u00eempreun\u0103, \u00eenc\u00e2t am \u00eenceput s\u0103 confund speran\u021ba cu certitudinea.
\n\u2800
\nAm crezut c\u0103 voi avea timp s\u0103-\u021bi spun.
\n\u2800
\nMereu am crezut c\u0103 voi avea timp.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nM-am oprit.
\n\u2800
\nLacrimile \u00eemi c\u0103deau pe h\u00e2rtie.
\n\u2800
\nElena mi-a \u00eentins un \u0219erve\u021bel, dar nici m\u0103car nu l-am v\u0103zut.
\n\u2800
\nAm continuat s\u0103 citesc.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eC\u00e2nd am aflat c\u0103 sunt \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103, am fost fericit\u0103 \u0219i \u00eengrozit\u0103 \u00een acela\u0219i timp. C\u00e2nd medicul ne-a spus c\u0103 sunt dou\u0103 feti\u021be, am r\u00e2s at\u00e2t de tare, \u00eenc\u00e2t asistenta a \u00eenceput s\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103 cu mine.
\n\u2800
\nDou\u0103 feti\u021be, Daniel.
\n\u2800
\nDou\u0103 inimi mici.
\n\u2800
\nMi-am imaginat imediat cum le vei \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba s\u0103 mearg\u0103 pe biciclet\u0103. Cum vei sta pe podea, \u00eenconjurat de p\u0103pu\u0219i, pref\u0103c\u00e2ndu-te c\u0103 bei ceai din ce\u0219cu\u021be de plastic.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i cum te vei emo\u021biona \u00een prima lor zi de \u0219coal\u0103, de\u0219i vei \u00eencerca s\u0103 pari curajos.
\n\u2800
\nDar trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi spun ceva foarte important.
\n\u2800
\nNu vreau s\u0103 crezi niciodat\u0103 c\u0103 via\u021ba mea valoreaz\u0103 mai pu\u021bin dec\u00e2t a lor.
\n\u2800
\nNu vreau s\u0103 te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 alegi \u00eentre noi.
\n\u2800
\nEu am f\u0103cut propriile alegeri, unele din speran\u021b\u0103, altele din fric\u0103. \u0218i \u00eemi asum faptul c\u0103 nu am fost sincer\u0103 cu tine.
\n\u2800
\nDac\u0103 va veni o zi \u00een care medicii \u00ee\u021bi vor cere s\u0103 iei o decizie imposibil\u0103, te rog s\u0103 nu por\u021bi singur vina pentru ceea ce se va \u00eent\u00e2mpla.
\n\u2800
\nNu tu ai provocat boala mea.
\n\u2800
\nNu tu ai ales s\u0103 mi se opreasc\u0103 inima.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i nu tu vei fi vinovat dac\u0103 medicina nu va putea face tot ceea ce ne dorim.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nAm l\u0103sat scrisoarea \u00een poal\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nNu mai puteam respira normal.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tia… am \u0219optit.
\n\u2800
\nElena a dat din cap.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tia c\u0103 lucrurile se puteau complica.
\n\u2800
\nAm continuat.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eDac\u0103 feti\u021bele noastre vor cre\u0219te f\u0103r\u0103 mine, spune-le c\u0103 le-am iubit \u00eenainte s\u0103 le v\u0103d.
\n\u2800
\nSpune-le c\u0103 le vorbeam \u00een fiecare sear\u0103, c\u00e2nd tu adormeai cu m\u00e2na pe burta mea.
\n\u2800
\nSpune-le c\u0103 m\u0103 f\u0103ceau s\u0103 r\u00e2d c\u00e2nd loveau am\u00e2ndou\u0103 deodat\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 uneori aveam impresia c\u0103 se certau deja pentru loc.
\n\u2800
\nDar, mai ales, spune-le c\u0103 tat\u0103l lor este un om bun.
\n\u2800
\nUn om care \u00ee\u0219i face griji prea mult, care uit\u0103 unde \u00ee\u0219i las\u0103 cheile \u0219i care pl\u00e2nge la filme, de\u0219i sus\u021bine c\u0103 are ceva \u00een ochi.
\n\u2800
\nTe rog, Daniel, s\u0103 nu te pedepse\u0219ti pentru tot restul vie\u021bii.
\n\u2800
\nDac\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u0219ti, tr\u0103ie\u0219te.
\n\u2800
\nR\u00e2zi din nou.
\n\u2800
\nM\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nDormi.
\n\u2800
\nLas\u0103 oamenii s\u0103 te ajute.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i, \u00eentr-o zi, c\u00e2nd vei putea, poveste\u0219te-le fetelor despre mine f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 sim\u021bi c\u0103 fiecare amintire te distruge.
\n\u2800
\nNu \u0219tiu c\u00e2t timp ne mai este dat.
\n\u2800
\nDar \u0219tiu c\u0103, dac\u0103 a\u0219 putea s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc \u00een ziua \u00een care te-am cunoscut, tot spre tine a\u0219 merge.
\n\u2800
\nTe iubesc.
\n\u2800
\nMaria.\u201d
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nAm str\u00e2ns scrisoarea la piept \u0219i am \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng.
\n\u2800
\nNu pl\u00e2nsesem a\u0219a nici la \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare.
\n\u2800
\nAtunci fusesem prea amor\u021bit, prea ocupat s\u0103 semnez documente, s\u0103 r\u0103spund la \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u0219i s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg cum puteam s\u0103 intru \u00eentr-un spital cu so\u021bia mea \u0219i s\u0103 ies f\u0103r\u0103 ea.
\n\u2800
\nAcum totul m\u0103 lovea deodat\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Eu am crezut c\u0103 am omor\u00e2t-o, am spus printre lacrimi.
\n\u2800
\nElena s-a apropiat.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Daniel…
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Trei luni am tr\u0103it cu g\u00e2ndul c\u0103, dac\u0103 a\u0219 fi spus s\u0103 o salveze pe ea, Maria ar fi fost acum aici. \u00cen fiecare noapte \u00eemi imaginez cum ar fi fost dac\u0103 a\u0219 fi rostit alte cuvinte.
\n\u2800
\nElena m-a luat \u00een bra\u021be.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Nu aveai cum s\u0103 \u0219tii ce s-ar fi \u00eent\u00e2mplat \u00eentr-un alt scenariu.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Dar am ales feti\u021bele.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Ai respectat ceea ce Maria \u021bi-a cerut \u00een acel moment. \u0218i nu ai fost tu cel care a decis ce tratamente puteau sau nu puteau s\u0103 func\u021bioneze.
\n\u2800
\nAm \u00eenchis ochii.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mi-e at\u00e2t de dor de ea.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218i mie, dragul meu.
\n\u2800
\nPentru prima dat\u0103 de la moartea Mariei, am pl\u00e2ns \u00eempreun\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nDup\u0103 ce ne-am lini\u0219tit, Elena mi-a spus c\u0103 mai exista ceva ce trebuia s\u0103 aflu.
\n\u2800
\nM-am uitat speriat spre ea.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Ce anume?
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Maria avea un caiet. \u00cel \u021binea \u00een sertarul noptierei, sub c\u00e2teva reviste. Mi-a spus c\u0103 scrie acolo lucruri pentru feti\u021be.
\n\u2800
\nAm sim\u021bit un fior.
\n\u2800
\n\u00cemi aminteam caietul.
\n\u2800
\nAvea o copert\u0103 verde \u0219i un elastic negru.
\n\u2800
\n\u00cel v\u0103zusem de c\u00e2teva ori, dar presupusesem c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i nota program\u0103rile medicale sau listele pentru cump\u0103r\u0103turi.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Este \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een dormitor, am spus.
\n\u2800
\nM-am ridicat \u0219i am mers s\u0103-l caut.
\n\u2800
\nL-am g\u0103sit exact unde spusese Elena.
\n\u2800
\nSub un teanc de reviste, l\u00e2ng\u0103 o cutie cu elastice de p\u0103r.
\n\u2800
\nPe prima pagin\u0103 scria:
\n\u2800
\n\u201ePentru feti\u021bele mele, c\u00e2nd vor fi suficient de mari s\u0103 citeasc\u0103.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nAm deschis caietul.
\n\u2800
\nPrima \u00eensemnare era datat\u0103 cu aproape \u0219ase luni \u00eenainte de na\u0219tere.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eAst\u0103zi am aflat c\u0103 sunte\u021bi dou\u0103. Tat\u0103l vostru a r\u0103mas at\u00e2t de uimit, \u00eenc\u00e2t a \u00eentrebat medicul de trei ori dac\u0103 este sigur. Pe drumul spre cas\u0103 a \u00eenceput s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103 despre dou\u0103 p\u0103tu\u021buri, dou\u0103 scaune de ma\u0219in\u0103 \u0219i despre faptul c\u0103 va trebui s\u0103 cump\u0103r\u0103m o ma\u0219in\u0103 mai mare.
\n\u2800
\nEu nu m\u0103 puteam opri din r\u00e2s.
\n\u2800
\nCred c\u0103 v\u0103 va iubi mai mult dec\u00e2t \u00ee\u0219i poate imagina.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nAm z\u00e2mbit printre lacrimi.
\n\u2800
\nEra adev\u0103rat.
\n\u2800
\n\u00cen ziua aceea oprisem ma\u0219ina \u00eentr-o parcare \u0219i c\u0103utasem pe telefon pre\u021buri pentru ma\u0219ini cu portbagaj mai mare.
\n\u2800
\nMaria r\u00e2sese de mine aproape o or\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nAm continuat s\u0103 r\u0103sfoiesc caietul.
\n\u2800
\nPe unele pagini erau fotografii de la ecografii. Pe altele, liste cu nume, desene st\u00e2ngace \u0219i g\u00e2nduri scrise \u00een mijlocul nop\u021bii.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eAst\u0103zi tat\u0103l vostru a vorbit cu burta mea timp de dou\u0103zeci de minute. V-a explicat regulile fotbalului, de parc\u0103 dou\u0103 feti\u021be care nici nu s-au n\u0103scut ar avea nevoie urgent\u0103 s\u0103 \u0219tie ce este ofsaidul.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u00e2s.
\n\u2800
\nApoi am pl\u00e2ns din nou.
\n\u2800
\nMai departe, Maria scrisese:
\n\u2800
\n\u201eNu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 voi fi o mam\u0103 bun\u0103. Uneori m\u0103 sperie c\u00e2t de mult v\u0103 iubesc deja. Dar sper c\u0103, indiferent ce se va \u00eent\u00e2mpla, ve\u021bi cre\u0219te \u0219tiind c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 fi\u021bi perfecte ca s\u0103 merita\u021bi iubire.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nPe ultima pagin\u0103 completat\u0103 era o \u00eensemnare f\u0103cut\u0103 cu trei zile \u00eenainte de internare.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eAst\u0103zi Daniel a montat p\u0103tu\u021burile. A \u00eencurcat \u0219uruburile \u0219i a trebuit s\u0103 o ia de la cap\u0103t. Nu i-am spus c\u0103 l-am v\u0103zut \u0219terg\u00e2ndu-\u0219i o lacrim\u0103 c\u00e2nd a a\u0219ezat prima p\u0103turic\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nCred c\u0103 \u00eei este fric\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i mie.
\n\u2800
\nDar c\u00e2nd \u00eel privesc, m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103 orice ar aduce ziua de m\u00e2ine, feti\u021bele noastre vor avea un tat\u0103 care le va iubi din toat\u0103 inima.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nAm \u00eenchis caietul.
\n\u2800
\nTrei luni tr\u0103isem convins c\u0103 Maria murise din cauza mea.
\n\u2800
\nIar ea \u00ee\u0219i petrecuse ultimele s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni scriind despre c\u00e2t de mult\u0103 \u00eencredere avea \u00een mine.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\n\u00cen seara aceea, Elena a r\u0103mas la noi.
\n\u2800
\nPentru prima dat\u0103, a luat una dintre feti\u021be \u00een bra\u021be f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 par\u0103 c\u0103 se teme c\u0103 va \u00eencepe s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Care este Ana? m-a \u00eentrebat.
\n\u2800
\nAm z\u00e2mbit.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Cea cu p\u0103rul pu\u021bin mai \u00eenchis. Cealalt\u0103 este Sofia.
\n\u2800
\nElena a privit-o pe Ana.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Bun\u0103, iubita bunicii.
\n\u2800
\nFeti\u021ba a deschis ochii \u0219i a \u00eenceput s\u0103 mi\u0219te din m\u00e2nu\u021be.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Are ochii Mariei, a \u0219optit Elena.
\n\u2800
\nM-am a\u0219ezat l\u00e2ng\u0103 ele cu Sofia \u00een bra\u021be.
\n\u2800
\nPentru c\u00e2teva minute am r\u0103mas t\u0103cu\u021bi, privind cele dou\u0103 feti\u021be.
\n\u2800
\nApoi Elena m-a \u00eentrebat:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 M\u0103n\u00e2nci ceva \u00een seara asta?
\n\u2800
\nAm ridicat din umeri.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Nu prea mi-e foame.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Daniel, ai sl\u0103bit \u00eengrozitor.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tiu.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Maria mi-ar fi tras o ceart\u0103 zdrav\u0103n\u0103 dac\u0103 ar fi v\u0103zut \u00een ce stare e\u0219ti.
\n\u2800
\nAm z\u00e2mbit trist.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Probabil.
\n\u2800
\nElena s-a ridicat.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Atunci \u00eenc\u0103lzesc ceva. Iar tu o s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci m\u0103car c\u00e2teva linguri.
\n\u2800
\nNu m-am \u00eempotrivit.
\n\u2800
\nA fost prima mas\u0103 adev\u0103rat\u0103 pe care am m\u00e2ncat-o dup\u0103 multe zile.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\n\u00cen urm\u0103toarele s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, Elena a \u00eenceput s\u0103 vin\u0103 mai des.
\n\u2800
\nNu \u00een fiecare zi \u0219i nu pentru c\u0103 i-a\u0219 fi cerut.
\n\u2800
\nUneori aducea m\u00e2ncare. Alteori st\u0103tea cu feti\u021bele c\u00e2t timp eu f\u0103ceam un du\u0219 sau dormeam o or\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u00centr-o dup\u0103-amiaz\u0103, m-a g\u0103sit \u00een dormitor, \u021bin\u00e2nd bluza Mariei \u00een bra\u021be.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u00cenc\u0103 nu ai sp\u0103lat-o? m-a \u00eentrebat.
\n\u2800
\nAm cl\u0103tinat din cap.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u00cenc\u0103 miroase pu\u021bin a ea.
\n\u2800
\nElena s-a a\u0219ezat l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Atunci p\u0103streaz-o a\u0219a c\u00e2t ai nevoie.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit bluza.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mi-e team\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi o s\u0103 uit cum mirosea. Sau cum r\u00e2dea. Sau cum \u00eemi spunea numele.
\n\u2800
\nElena a \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218i mie mi-e team\u0103 de asta.
\n\u2800
\nAm stat mult timp \u00eempreun\u0103, povestind despre Maria.
\n\u2800
\nDespre cum, la \u0219ase ani, insistase s\u0103 adopte o pisic\u0103 g\u0103sit\u0103 \u00een ploaie.
\n\u2800
\nDespre cum, la doisprezece ani, \u00eei spusese mamei c\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi va avea o cas\u0103 plin\u0103 de copii.
\n\u2800
\nDespre cum, la dou\u0103zeci \u0219i patru de ani, m\u0103 adusese pentru prima dat\u0103 acas\u0103 \u0219i \u00eei \u0219optise Elenei \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mam\u0103, cred c\u0103 el este alesul.
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u00e2s \u0219i am pl\u00e2ns p\u00e2n\u0103 seara.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i am descoperit c\u0103 amintirile despre Maria puteau s\u0103 doar\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 ne aduc\u0103 bucurie \u00een acela\u0219i timp.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nLa recomandarea surorii mele, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 merg la un psiholog specializat \u00een doliu.
\n\u2800
\nLa prima \u0219edin\u021b\u0103, am povestit totul.
\n\u2800
\nDespre sala de na\u0219teri.
\n\u2800
\nDespre \u00eentrebarea medicilor.
\n\u2800
\nDespre m\u00e2na Mariei care mi-a str\u00e2ns degetele.
\n\u2800
\nDespre cuvintele ei:
\n\u2800
\n\u201eFeti\u021bele. Bine\u00een\u021beles c\u0103 feti\u021bele.\u201d
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i despre faptul c\u0103, de atunci, nu reu\u0219eam s\u0103 m\u0103 iert.
\n\u2800
\nPsihologul m-a ascultat f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrerup\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nApoi m-a \u00eentrebat:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Dac\u0103 un prieten v-ar povesti c\u0103 so\u021bia lui a murit \u00een urma unor complica\u021bii medicale grave, dup\u0103 ce am\u00e2ndoi au exprimat aceea\u0219i dorin\u021b\u0103 \u00een fa\u021ba medicilor, l-a\u021bi considera vinovat de moartea ei?
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u0103spuns imediat:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Nu.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Atunci de ce v\u0103 judeca\u021bi pe dumneavoastr\u0103 dup\u0103 alte reguli?
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u0103mas t\u0103cut.
\n\u2800
\nNu \u0219tiam ce s\u0103 spun.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Pentru c\u0103 eu trebuia s\u0103 o protejez, am murmurat \u00een cele din urm\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 A\u021bi fi vrut s\u0103 o pute\u021bi proteja. Dar nu avea\u021bi control asupra tuturor lucrurilor care se \u00eent\u00e2mplau \u00een corpul ei.
\n\u2800
\nMi-am acoperit fa\u021ba cu m\u00e2inile.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Dac\u0103 a\u0219 fi \u0219tiut de boala ei…
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Poate c\u0103 a\u021bi fi f\u0103cut anumite lucruri diferit. Poate c\u0103 a\u021bi fi avut alte conversa\u021bii. Dar nu pute\u021bi \u0219ti cu certitudine cum s-ar fi schimbat rezultatul.
\n\u2800
\nAm \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng.
\n\u2800
\nPentru prima dat\u0103, cineva \u00eemi d\u0103dea voie s\u0103 recunosc c\u0103 nu \u0219tiam.
\n\u2800
\nC\u0103 nu puteam \u0219ti.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i c\u0103 poate nu trebuia s\u0103-mi petrec restul vie\u021bii invent\u00e2nd scenarii \u00een care reu\u0219eam s\u0103 o salvez.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nLa aproape \u0219ase luni dup\u0103 moartea Mariei, am cerut o \u00eent\u00e2lnire cu medicul care coordonase \u00eengrijirea ei \u00een spital.
\n\u2800
\nAveam nevoie s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg ce se \u00eent\u00e2mplase.
\n\u2800
\nElena a venit cu mine.
\n\u2800
\nMedicul ne-a explicat, \u00een limitele informa\u021biilor medicale pe care aveam dreptul s\u0103 le primim, c\u00e2t de grav\u0103 fusese situa\u021bia \u0219i c\u00e2t de rapid evoluaser\u0103 complica\u021biile.
\n\u2800
\nMi-a spus c\u0103 echipa \u00eencercase s\u0103 ofere \u00eengrijiri at\u00e2t Mariei, c\u00e2t \u0219i copiilor \u0219i c\u0103 discu\u021bia despre priorit\u0103\u021bi avusese loc \u00eentr-un context medical extrem de dificil.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Am crezut c\u0103 eu am decis cine tr\u0103ie\u0219te \u0219i cine moare, i-am spus.
\n\u2800
\nMedicul m-a privit cu compasiune.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u00cen\u021beleg de ce a\u021bi sim\u021bit asta. Dar nu a\u021bi avut puterea de a controla evolu\u021bia bolii. Echipa medical\u0103 a luat deciziile clinice \u00een func\u021bie de starea pacientei \u0219i a copiilor, de op\u021biunile disponibile \u0219i de dorin\u021bele exprimate.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit spre Elena.
\n\u2800
\nPl\u00e2ngea \u00een t\u0103cere.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Dac\u0103 a\u0219 fi spus s\u0103 o salva\u021bi pe Maria, ar fi tr\u0103it?
\n\u2800
\nMedicul a r\u0103mas c\u00e2teva secunde t\u0103cut.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Nu putem afirma c\u0103 un r\u0103spuns diferit ar fi schimbat rezultatul. Starea ei era foarte grav\u0103. \u00cemi pare sincer r\u0103u pentru pierderea dumneavoastr\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAm \u00eencuviin\u021bat.
\n\u2800
\nNu era r\u0103spunsul miraculos pe care \u00eel c\u0103utasem.
\n\u2800
\nDar era un r\u0103spuns pe care aveam nevoie s\u0103-l aud.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\n\u00cen prima aniversare a feti\u021belor, am organizat o petrecere mic\u0103 \u00een gr\u0103din\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAu venit Elena, sora mea, c\u00e2\u021biva prieteni \u0219i p\u0103rin\u021bii mei.
\n\u2800
\nAna a b\u0103gat m\u00e2na \u00een tort \u00eenainte s\u0103 apuc\u0103m s\u0103 c\u00e2nt\u0103m.
\n\u2800
\nSofia a \u00eenceput s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd toat\u0103 lumea a aplaudat.
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u00e2s at\u00e2t de tare, \u00eenc\u00e2t m-a durut stomacul.
\n\u2800
\nApoi m-am oprit.
\n\u2800
\nPentru o clip\u0103, m-am sim\u021bit vinovat.
\n\u2800
\nCum puteam s\u0103 r\u00e2d c\u00e2nd Maria nu era acolo?
\n\u2800
\nElena a observat schimbarea de pe chipul meu.
\n\u2800
\nS-a apropiat \u0219i mi-a \u0219optit:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Maria ar fi r\u00e2s \u0219i ea.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit spre feti\u021be.
\n\u2800
\nAna avea crem\u0103 pe nas.
\n\u2800
\nSofia \u00eencerca s\u0103-i smulg\u0103 surorii ei o panglic\u0103 din p\u0103r.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i am \u00eenceput din nou s\u0103 r\u00e2d.
\n\u2800
\nDe data aceasta f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 opresc.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nC\u00e2nd feti\u021bele au \u00eemplinit doi ani, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 le citesc fragmente din caietul Mariei.
\n\u2800
\nNu \u00een\u021belegeau \u00eenc\u0103 toate cuvintele, dar le pl\u0103cea s\u0103 se uite la fotografii.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mama! spunea Ana, ar\u0103t\u00e2nd spre chipul ei.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Da, iubita mea. Mama.
\n\u2800
\nSofia atingea fotografia cu degetele.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Frumoas\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u00cemi sim\u021beam inima str\u00e2ng\u00e2ndu-se.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Foarte frumoas\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAm pus o fotografie mare cu Maria \u00een sufragerie.
\n\u2800
\nNu am vrut ca feti\u021bele s\u0103 creasc\u0103 \u00eentr-o cas\u0103 \u00een care mama lor era un subiect despre care nimeni nu \u00eendr\u0103znea s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nLe povesteam despre ea.
\n\u2800
\nDespre cum c\u00e2nta c\u00e2nd g\u0103tea.
\n\u2800
\nDespre cum se sup\u0103ra dac\u0103 puneam farfuriile \u00een dulapul gre\u0219it.
\n\u2800
\nDespre cum adora ploaia de var\u0103 \u0219i despre cum m\u0103 obliga s\u0103 m\u0103 uit cu ea la filme romantice.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i despre c\u00e2t de mult le iubise.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nAu trecut cinci ani.
\n\u2800
\nAna \u0219i Sofia sunt acum dou\u0103 feti\u021be pline de energie, cu personalit\u0103\u021bi complet diferite.
\n\u2800
\nAna este curajoas\u0103, vorbe\u0219te cu toat\u0103 lumea \u0219i vrea s\u0103 devin\u0103 pompier.
\n\u2800
\nSofia este mai lini\u0219tit\u0103, iube\u0219te c\u0103r\u021bile \u0219i spune c\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi va avea o bibliotec\u0103 at\u00e2t de mare, \u00eenc\u00e2t va trebui s\u0103 doarm\u0103 printre rafturi.
\n\u2800
\n\u00cen fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103, \u00eenainte s\u0103 plec\u0103m la gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103, se ceart\u0103 pentru cine st\u0103 mai aproape de mine \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nUneori m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la discu\u021bia aceea din ultima diminea\u021b\u0103 petrecut\u0103 cu Maria.
\n\u2800
\nNe contraziceam \u00een privin\u021ba numelor.
\n\u2800
\nEa spunea c\u0103 gemenele nu trebuie s\u0103 aib\u0103 nume asem\u0103n\u0103toare.
\n\u2800
\nAvea dreptate.
\n\u2800
\nAna \u0219i Sofia nu seam\u0103n\u0103 deloc la caracter.
\n\u2800
\nDar c\u00e2nd r\u00e2d \u00eempreun\u0103, parc\u0103 o aud pe mama lor.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\n\u00centr-o sear\u0103, Sofia a venit la mine cu caietul verde al Mariei.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Tati, de ce mama a scris at\u00e2t de mult?
\n\u2800
\nM-am a\u0219ezat l\u00e2ng\u0103 ea.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Pentru c\u0103 voia s\u0103 v\u0103 lase amintiri.
\n\u2800
\nAna s-a apropiat \u0219i ea.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mama \u0219tia c\u0103 o s\u0103 plece \u00een cer?
\n\u2800
\nAm sim\u021bit un nod \u00een g\u00e2t.
\n\u2800
\nLe vorbisem despre moartea Mariei \u00eentr-un mod potrivit v\u00e2rstei lor, dar \u00eentreb\u0103rile deveneau tot mai complicate pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce cre\u0219teau.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mama \u0219tia c\u0103 era bolnav\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 existau riscuri, le-am explicat. Dar spera foarte mult s\u0103 fie aici, cu noi.
\n\u2800
\nSofia a privit fotografia.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218i de ce n-a r\u0103mas?
\n\u2800
\nAm inspirat ad\u00e2nc.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Pentru c\u0103 uneori oamenii se \u00eemboln\u0103vesc foarte grav, iar medicii nu reu\u0219esc s\u0103-i salveze, chiar dac\u0103 \u00eencearc\u0103 din toate puterile.
\n\u2800
\nAna s-a lipit de mine.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Dar ne iubea?
\n\u2800
\nAm \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219at-o.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mai mult dec\u00e2t v\u0103 pute\u021bi imagina.
\n\u2800
\nSofia a deschis caietul la o pagin\u0103 cu dou\u0103 fotografii de la ecografie.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Astea suntem noi?
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Da.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Eram mici!
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u00e2s.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Foarte mici.
\n\u2800
\nAna a privit fotografia c\u00e2teva secunde.
\n\u2800
\nApoi m-a \u00eentrebat:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Tati, mama era fericit\u0103 c\u0103 venim?
\n\u2800
\nMi-au dat lacrimile.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Era foarte fericit\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAm luat caietul \u0219i le-am citit fragmentul \u00een care Maria povestea cum aflase c\u0103 a\u0219teapt\u0103 gemene.
\n\u2800
\nFeti\u021bele au r\u00e2s c\u00e2nd au auzit c\u0103 \u00eentrebasem medicul de trei ori dac\u0103 este sigur.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Tati, tu chiar nu \u0219tiai s\u0103 numeri p\u00e2n\u0103 la doi? a \u00eentrebat Sofia.
\n\u2800
\nAm izbucnit \u00een r\u00e2s.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Se pare c\u0103 \u00een ziua aceea nu prea \u0219tiam.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nDup\u0103 ce le-am culcat, am r\u0103mas singur \u00een sufragerie.
\n\u2800
\nPe mas\u0103 se afla caietul verde.
\n\u2800
\nL\u00e2ng\u0103 el, scrisoarea Mariei.
\n\u2800
\nH\u00e2rtia era deja pu\u021bin \u00eeng\u0103lbenit\u0103 la margini, de la c\u00e2te ori o citisem.
\n\u2800
\nAm desf\u0103cut-o \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eDac\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u0219ti, tr\u0103ie\u0219te.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u0103mas privind acele cuvinte.
\n\u2800
\nTimp de trei luni dup\u0103 moartea ei, crezusem c\u0103 iubirea \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 suf\u0103r.
\n\u2800
\nC\u0103, dac\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi voi r\u00e2de f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 simt vinovat, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 am uitat-o.
\n\u2800
\nC\u0103, dac\u0103 voi reu\u0219i s\u0103 dorm o noapte \u00eentreag\u0103, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 nu mi-a fost suficient de dor.
\n\u2800
\nDar Maria nu \u00eemi ceruse niciodat\u0103 asta.
\n\u2800
\n\u00cemi ceruse s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc.
\n\u2800
\nS\u0103 am grij\u0103 de feti\u021be.
\n\u2800
\nS\u0103 le povestesc despre ea.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i s\u0103 nu transform ultimele noastre clipe \u00eempreun\u0103 \u00eentr-o condamnare pe via\u021b\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit spre fotografia de pe perete.
\n\u2800
\nMaria z\u00e2mbea.
\n\u2800
\nAcela\u0219i z\u00e2mbet din ziua nun\u021bii.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u00cencerc, iubita mea, am \u0219optit. \u00cen fiecare zi \u00eencerc.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nDuminica urm\u0103toare, Elena a venit la noi la pr\u00e2nz.
\n\u2800
\nFeti\u021bele au alergat spre ea \u0219i aproape au tr\u00e2ntit-o la p\u0103m\u00e2nt.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Bunico!
\n\u2800
\nElena le-a \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219at, r\u00e2z\u00e2nd.
\n\u2800
\nP\u0103rul \u00eei albise aproape complet \u00een ultimii ani, dar ochii \u00eei str\u0103luceau c\u00e2nd era cu ele.
\n\u2800
\nDup\u0103 mas\u0103, \u00een timp ce feti\u021bele desenau, am ie\u0219it \u00eempreun\u0103 pe verand\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Daniel, mi-a spus, vreau s\u0103 te \u00eentreb ceva.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Sigur.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mai p\u0103strezi bluza Mariei?
\n\u2800
\nAm \u00eencuviin\u021bat.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Da. Este \u00eentr-o cutie, \u00eempreun\u0103 cu alte lucruri de-ale ei.
\n\u2800
\nElena a z\u00e2mbit.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 M\u0103 bucur.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit gr\u0103dina.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218ti\u021bi, la \u00eenceput m\u0103 temeam s\u0103 ating lucrurile ei. Credeam c\u0103, dac\u0103 schimb ceva \u00een cas\u0103, o voi pierde \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218i acum?
\n\u2800
\nAm z\u00e2mbit.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Acum \u0219tiu c\u0103 nu locuie\u0219te \u00een lucrurile acelea. Locuie\u0219te \u00een tot ce ne-a l\u0103sat.
\n\u2800
\nElena \u0219i-a \u0219ters o lacrim\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Maria ar fi fost m\u00e2ndr\u0103 de tine.
\n\u2800
\nAm cl\u0103tinat u\u0219or din cap.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 am f\u0103cut totul bine.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Nimeni nu face totul bine, Daniel.
\n\u2800
\nAm privit prin fereastr\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAna \u00eencerca s\u0103-i deseneze Sofiei o coroan\u0103 pe cap.
\n\u2800
\nSofia protesta, dar r\u00e2dea.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Dar le iubesc, am spus.
\n\u2800
\nElena mi-a prins m\u00e2na.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 \u0218tiu.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\n\u00cen seara aceea, dup\u0103 ce Elena a plecat \u0219i feti\u021bele au adormit, am g\u0103sit pe frigider un desen.
\n\u2800
\nEra f\u0103cut de Sofia.
\n\u2800
\nPatru oameni \u021bin\u00e2ndu-se de m\u00e2n\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nUn b\u0103rbat \u00eenalt.
\n\u2800
\nDou\u0103 feti\u021be.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i o femeie cu p\u0103rul lung, desenat\u0103 deasupra lor, printre nori.
\n\u2800
\nSub desen, cu litere mari \u0219i str\u00e2mbe, scria:
\n\u2800
\n\u201eFAMILIA NOASTR\u0102\u201d.
\n\u2800
\nAm r\u0103mas nemi\u0219cat.
\n\u2800
\nApoi am desprins desenul de pe frigider \u0219i l-am pus \u00eentr-o ram\u0103, l\u00e2ng\u0103 fotografia Mariei.
\n\u2800
\nPentru prima dat\u0103 dup\u0103 mul\u021bi ani, am sim\u021bit c\u0103 familia noastr\u0103 nu era doar o poveste despre pierdere.
\n\u2800
\nEra \u0219i o poveste despre iubire.
\n\u2800
\nDespre dou\u0103 feti\u021be care cre\u0219teau.
\n\u2800
\nDespre o bunic\u0103 ce \u00ee\u0219i reg\u0103sise puterea de a z\u00e2mbi.
\n\u2800
\nDespre un tat\u0103 care \u00eenv\u0103\u021base s\u0103 cear\u0103 ajutor \u0219i s\u0103 mearg\u0103 mai departe.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i despre o mam\u0103 care, de\u0219i nu mai era acolo s\u0103 le \u021bin\u0103 de m\u00e2n\u0103, l\u0103sase \u00een urm\u0103 suficiente cuvinte \u0219i amintiri pentru ca fetele ei s\u0103 o cunoasc\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n***
\n\u2800
\nUneori m\u0103 \u00eentorc cu g\u00e2ndul la ziua aceea din spital.
\n\u2800
\nLa lumina rece.
\n\u2800
\nLa vocile medicilor.
\n\u2800
\nLa m\u00e2na Mariei \u00een m\u00e2na mea.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i la ultimele ei cuvinte.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eFeti\u021bele. Bine\u00een\u021beles c\u0103 feti\u021bele.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nNu voi \u0219ti niciodat\u0103 cum ar fi ar\u0103tat via\u021ba noastr\u0103 dac\u0103 lucrurile ar fi decurs altfel.
\n\u2800
\nPoate c\u0103, \u00eentr-o alt\u0103 lume, Maria ar fi fost aici, cert\u00e2ndu-se cu mine pentru c\u0103 am uitat s\u0103 cump\u0103r lapte.
\n\u2800
\nPoate c\u0103 am fi stat am\u00e2ndoi la serb\u0103rile feti\u021belor, \u021bin\u00e2nd telefoanele ridicate \u0219i \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 film\u0103m fiecare secund\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nPoate c\u0103 ne-am fi contrazis \u00een continuare pentru lucruri m\u0103runte, apoi am fi r\u00e2s \u0219i ne-am fi \u00eemp\u0103cat \u00eenainte de culcare.
\n\u2800
\nMi-a\u0219 fi dorit toate acestea.
\n\u2800
\nLe voi dori mereu.
\n\u2800
\nDar am \u00eencetat s\u0103 mai cred c\u0103 dorin\u021ba mea poate schimba trecutul.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i am \u00eencetat s\u0103 mai confund faptul c\u0103 nu am putut s\u0103 o salvez cu ideea c\u0103 nu am iubit-o suficient.
\n\u2800
\nAm iubit-o.
\n\u2800
\nO iubesc \u0219i acum.
\n\u2800
\nDar ast\u0103zi pot spune asta f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 simt c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103 distrug pentru a demonstra c\u00e2t de mult a \u00eensemnat pentru mine.
\n\u2800
\n\u00cen fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103, c\u00e2nd Ana \u0219i Sofia coboar\u0103 sc\u0103rile \u0219i alearg\u0103 spre mine strig\u00e2nd \u201eTati!\u201d, \u00eemi amintesc de scrisoarea ei.
\n\u2800
\n\u201eDac\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u0219ti, tr\u0103ie\u0219te.\u201d
\n\u2800
\nA\u0219a c\u0103 tr\u0103iesc.
\n\u2800
\nLe preg\u0103tesc micul dejun.
\n\u2800
\nLe \u00eempletesc p\u0103rul, de\u0219i uneori una dintre codi\u021be iese mai sus dec\u00e2t cealalt\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nLe ascult pove\u0219tile.
\n\u2800
\nLe \u0219terg lacrimile.
\n\u2800
\nLe \u021bin de m\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd le este fric\u0103.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i, \u00een fiecare sear\u0103, \u00eenainte s\u0103 sting lumina, le spun acela\u0219i lucru:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Mama voastr\u0103 v-a iubit din toat\u0103 inima. \u0218i eu v\u0103 iubesc la fel de mult.
\n\u2800
\n\u00centr-o sear\u0103, Ana m-a \u00eentrebat:
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Tati, dac\u0103 mama ar putea s\u0103 ne vad\u0103 acum, crezi c\u0103 ar z\u00e2mbi?
\n\u2800
\nM-am uitat la cele dou\u0103 feti\u021be, ghemuite sub aceea\u0219i p\u0103tur\u0103, cu obrajii ro\u0219ii de la at\u00e2ta r\u00e2s.
\n\u2800
\nMi-am amintit de Maria, de ochii ei lumino\u0219i \u0219i de felul \u00een care \u00ee\u0219i \u00eenclina capul c\u00e2nd era fericit\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nAm z\u00e2mbit printre lacrimi.
\n\u2800
\n\u2014 Da, iubitele mele. Cred c\u0103 ar z\u00e2mbi foarte mult.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i pentru prima dat\u0103, c\u00e2nd am stins lumina \u0219i am \u00eenchis u\u0219a dormitorului, nu m-am mai \u00eentrebat ce a\u0219 fi putut spune altfel \u00een ziua \u00een care am pierdut-o.
\n\u2800
\nM-am g\u00e2ndit la ce \u00eei promisesem f\u0103r\u0103 cuvinte, \u00een clipa \u00een care le-am \u021binut pentru prima dat\u0103 pe fiicele noastre \u00een bra\u021be.
\n\u2800
\nC\u0103 voi avea grij\u0103 de ele.
\n\u2800
\nC\u0103 le voi iubi pentru am\u00e2ndoi.
\n\u2800
\n\u0218i c\u0103 voi face tot posibilul ca via\u021ba lor s\u0103 fie plin\u0103 de bucurie, nu doar de triste\u021bea pierderii mamei lor.
\n\u2800
\nNu am putut s\u0103 schimb ultima zi din via\u021ba Mariei.
\n\u2800
\nDar puteam s\u0103 onorez fiecare zi pe care o tr\u0103isem \u00eempreun\u0103.
\n\u2800
\nIar acesta avea s\u0103 fie, pentru tot restul vie\u021bii mele, felul \u00een care o voi iubi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
PARTEA 2 \u2800 Am r\u0103mas \u00een prag, privind plicul din m\u00e2inile soacrei mele. Se numea Elena \u0219i, \u00een cei \u0219apte ani de c\u00e2nd o cuno\u0219team, nu o v\u0103zusem niciodat\u0103 at\u00e2t de schimbat\u0103. Sl\u0103bise, avea cearc\u0103ne ad\u00e2nci, iar m\u00e2inile \u00eei tremurau u\u0219or. \u2800 \u2014 Ce anume trebuia s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 Maria? am \u00eentrebat. \u2800 Elena \u0219i-a cobor\u00e2t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29251,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diverse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29959","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29959"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29959\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29960,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29959\/revisions\/29960"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/29251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}