El st\u0103tea pe marginea patului, cu capul plecat \u0219i m\u00e2inile str\u00e2nse \u00een poal\u0103. Privirea lui era pierdut\u0103, de parc\u0103 se preg\u0103tea s\u0103 rosteasc\u0103 un adev\u0103r greu.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi spun ceva\u2026 \u0219i ar fi trebuit s\u0103 o fac \u00eenainte s\u0103 ne c\u0103s\u0103torim, murmur\u0103 el, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 priveasc\u0103.<\/p>\n
Inima mi-a \u00eenceput s\u0103 bat\u0103 mai repede. Mii de g\u00e2nduri \u00eemi treceau prin minte: fusese c\u0103s\u0103torit? Avea un copil ascuns? Datorii uria\u0219e?<\/p>\n
\u2014 Despre ce este vorba? am \u00eentrebat, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103-mi p\u0103strez calmul.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u021aine minte\u2026 tot ce am tr\u0103it p\u00e2n\u0103 acum cu tine a fost adev\u0103rat. Te iubesc. Dar\u2026 exist\u0103 ceva din trecutul meu care ar putea schimba totul.<\/p>\n
M-am apropiat \u00eencet \u0219i m-am a\u0219ezat l\u00e2ng\u0103 el. Puteam s\u0103-i simt respira\u021bia grea.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Spune-mi, \u0218tefan.<\/p>\n
A inspirat ad\u00e2nc, apoi m-a privit pentru prima dat\u0103 \u00een acea sear\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u00cen urm\u0103 cu mul\u021bi ani\u2026 am fost logodit. Cu mama ta.<\/p>\n
Am sim\u021bit cum \u00eemi fuge p\u0103m\u00e2ntul de sub picioare. Am r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 cuvinte, c\u0103ut\u00e2nd \u00een ochii lui un semn c\u0103 glumea.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ce\u2026?<\/p>\n
\u2014 A fost \u00eenainte s\u0103 te na\u0219ti. Eu \u0219i mama ta ne-am cunoscut la o petrecere \u00een sat. Ne-am apropiat, am vorbit despre viitor\u2026 dar ceva nu a mers. Ea l-a cunoscut pe tat\u0103l t\u0103u \u0219i totul s-a schimbat.<\/p>\n
M-am ridicat \u00een picioare, sim\u021bind un amestec de furie \u0219i confuzie.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u0218i tu ai \u0219tiut tot timpul asta?!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Da\u2026 dar nu am crezut c\u0103 mai conteaz\u0103. Nu a fost nimic\u2026 intim \u00eentre noi, doar o promisiune care s-a fr\u00e2nt.<\/p>\n
Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 plimb prin camer\u0103, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 procesez. \u00cen minte \u00eemi reveneau amintiri din copil\u0103rie: momente \u00een care mama ro\u0219ea c\u00e2nd auzea numele lui \u0218tefan, cum evita s\u0103 stea prea mult la aceea\u0219i mas\u0103 cu el.<\/p>\n
\u2014 De asta mama nu a venit la nunt\u0103\u2026 am spus \u00eencet, realiz\u00e2nd adev\u0103rul.<\/p>\n
\u0218tefan nu a r\u0103spuns. T\u0103cerea lui era confirmarea de care nu aveam nevoie.<\/p>\n
Am ie\u0219it din dormitor \u0219i m-am dus pe veranda casei. Aerul nop\u021bii era rece, iar mirosul de iasomie venea din gr\u0103din\u0103. Am stat acolo, ascult\u00e2nd lini\u0219tea, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am auzit pa\u0219ii lui \u00een spatele meu.<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u00cemi pare r\u0103u\u2026 nu am vrut s\u0103 te r\u0103nesc. Am crezut c\u0103 trecutul e trecut.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Dar uneori trecutul nu dispare, \u0218tefan. Uneori st\u0103 ascuns p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een ziua \u00een care \u00ee\u021bi schimb\u0103 toat\u0103 via\u021ba.<\/p>\n
El a \u00eentins m\u00e2na s\u0103-mi ating\u0103 um\u0103rul, dar am f\u0103cut un pas \u00eenapoi.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Am nevoie de timp. Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 pot trece peste asta.<\/p>\n
Noaptea aceea, \u00een loc s\u0103 fie \u00eenceputul unei vie\u021bi noi, a devenit o ruptur\u0103 ad\u00e2nc\u0103 \u00eentre noi.<\/p>\n
\u00cen zilele urm\u0103toare, am vorbit cu mama. La \u00eenceput a ezitat, dar apoi mi-a spus totul: cum \u00eel cunoscuse pe \u0218tefan la un bal din sat, cum fusese fermecat\u0103 de el, dar cum \u00ee\u0219i d\u0103duse seama c\u0103 nu \u00eel iubea cu adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu voiam s\u0103-\u021bi stric fericirea, mi-a spus ea cu lacrimi \u00een ochi. Dar \u0219tiam c\u0103 adev\u0103rul iese mereu la iveal\u0103.<\/p>\n
Am stat mult timp s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc. \u00cen cultura noastr\u0103, trecutul are un fel ciudat de a se amesteca cu prezentul, fie c\u0103 vorbim de pove\u0219tile spuse la \u0219ez\u0103tori, fie de secretele care se transmit \u00een \u0219oapt\u0103 la masa de Cr\u0103ciun.<\/p>\n
\u00centr-o sear\u0103, m-am \u00eentors la casa lui \u0218tefan. El st\u0103tea pe verand\u0103, privind spre drum, ca \u0219i cum m-ar fi a\u0219teptat.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Nu pot schimba ceea ce simt pentru tine, i-am spus. Dar vreau s\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u0103, de acum \u00eenainte, nu mai exist\u0103 secrete \u00eentre noi.<\/p>\n
El a dat din cap, cu un z\u00e2mbet obosit.<\/p>\n
Poate c\u0103 \u00eenceputul nostru fusese umbrit de trecut, dar am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103, uneori, iertarea nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 ui\u021bi, ci s\u0103 alegi s\u0103 mergi mai departe, \u00een ciuda umbrelor care te \u00eenso\u021besc.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
El st\u0103tea pe marginea patului, cu capul plecat \u0219i m\u00e2inile str\u00e2nse \u00een poal\u0103. Privirea lui era pierdut\u0103, de parc\u0103 se preg\u0103tea s\u0103 rosteasc\u0103 un adev\u0103r greu. \u2014 Trebuie s\u0103-\u021bi spun ceva\u2026 \u0219i ar fi trebuit s\u0103 o fac \u00eenainte s\u0103 ne c\u0103s\u0103torim, murmur\u0103 el, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 priveasc\u0103. Inima mi-a \u00eenceput s\u0103 bat\u0103 mai repede. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3552,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3551","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-povesti"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3551","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3551"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3551\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3553,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3551\/revisions\/3553"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3551"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3551"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3551"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}