{"id":7530,"date":"2025-09-29T04:43:34","date_gmt":"2025-09-29T04:43:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/?p=7530"},"modified":"2025-09-29T04:43:34","modified_gmt":"2025-09-29T04:43:34","slug":"rechinii-din-grecia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/?p=7530","title":{"rendered":"Rechinii din Grecia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Am preg\u0103tit o selec\u021bie de cele mai bune bancuri ca s\u0103-\u021bi mearg\u0103 bine toat\u0103 ziua. De data aceasta, avem un top al celor mai haioase bancuri cu \u0219i despre pensionari. Am cules de ici-colo bancuri, glume, dar \u0219i povestioare amuzante \u00een care protagoni\u0219tii principali sunt domnii \u0219i doamnele trecu\u021bi de prima tinere\u021be. Haide\u021bi s\u0103 vedem \u00een c\u00e2t timp reu\u0219im s\u0103 v\u0103 aducem z\u00e2mbetul pe buze!<\/p>\n<h2>Discutia zilei<\/h2>\n<p>-Mihaela, mi-a spus Doru c\u0103 ai n\u0103scut acum 2 ore. S\u0103 v\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103!<br \/>\n-Mul\u021bumesc, mam\u0103-soacr\u0103!<br \/>\n-Cu cine seam\u0103n\u0103 \u0103la mic?<br \/>\n-Mai \u021bii minte c\u00e2nd ai venit la noi acum o lun\u0103 \u0219i nu mergea liftul?<br \/>\n-Da. \u0218i m-a ajutat s\u0103 urc sc\u0103rile vecinul nostru?<\/p>\n<p>-Frumos b\u0103rbat!<\/p>\n<div class=\"x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s\">\n<div dir=\"auto\">-M\u0103 bucur c\u0103 \u021bi-a pl\u0103cut. Cu el seam\u0103n\u0103\u2026<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>-Domnule psihiatru, am impresia c\u0103 noaptea doarme cineva sub patul meu.<br \/>\n-Este grav. Ai paranoia, vei face tratament trei ani, 100 de lei \u0219edin\u021ba s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal\u0103\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Se rev\u0103d dup\u0103 c\u00e2\u021biva ani.<\/p>\n<p>-N-ai mai venit la tratament!<\/p>\n<p>-Am rezolvat problema, m-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat unul \u00een c\u00e2rcium\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>-Ce-ai f\u0103cut?<\/p>\n<p>-Am t\u0103iat picioarele patului\u2026<\/p>\n<p>*************<\/p>\n<p>\u201e-Deun dee\u0219ti?<\/p>\n<p>-Sunt din Constan\u021ba.<\/p>\n<p>-E\u0219t singur ic\u0103?<\/p>\n<p>-Da, sunt singur\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>-Vreu s\u0103 necunoa\u0219te.<\/p>\n<p>-Ce???<\/p>\n<p>-S\u0103fie ceva \u00een trenoi doi cum e \u00een trei doi porumb ei. Zi vrei?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013-<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 Buna zioa doamna \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103toarea. S\u00e2nt t\u0103ticu lu Alex elevu dvoastr\u0103. Va pl\u0103cut buketu de flori?<\/p>\n<p>-Buna ziua. Da, mi-a placut. Multumesc!<\/p>\n<p>-Sa stiti ca e cele mai scumpe flori care era la mine la munca.<\/p>\n<p>-Dar unde lucrati?<\/p>\n<p>-Gropar la mai multe firme?<\/p>\n<p>\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>\u2013 Nu pot s\u0103 cred c\u0103 o femeie a\u0219a de frumoas\u0103 este singur\u0103! Ie\u0219im \u0219i noi la un suc, o cafea?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>\u2013 Ce zici dac\u0103 fac eu o captur\u0103 de ecran \u0219i \u00eei trimit lu`nevast\u0103-ta?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>-Acum am \u00een\u021beles de ce esti singur\u0103. M-am uitat mai bine la pozele tale \u0219i nici frumoas\u0103 nu e\u0219ti !<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013<\/p>\n<p>-Mihaela, mi-a spus Doru c\u0103 ai n\u0103scut acum 2 ore. S\u0103 v\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103!<br \/>\n-Mul\u021bumesc, mam\u0103-soacr\u0103!<br \/>\n-Cu cine seam\u0103n\u0103 \u0103la mic?<br \/>\n-Mai \u021bii minte c\u00e2nd ai venit la noi acum o lun\u0103 \u0219i nu mergea liftul?<br \/>\n-Da. \u0218i m-a ajutat s\u0103 urc sc\u0103rile vecinul nostru?<\/p>\n<p>-Frumos b\u0103rbat!<\/p>\n<div class=\"x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s\">\n<div dir=\"auto\">-M\u0103 bucur c\u0103 \u021bi-a pl\u0103cut. Cu el seam\u0103n\u0103\u2026<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>-Eram pe plaj\u0103 \u00een Grecia \u0219i vecinul de cear\u0219af, cona\u021bional, \u00eei zice so\u021biei: \u201cEu nu mai intru \u00een ap\u0103, Lenu\u021bo, c\u0103 e rechini\u201d. Am r\u00e2s \u00een sinea mea. Ce rechini s\u0103 fie \u00een Marea Egee? A\u0219a c\u0103 m-am ridicat \u0219i m-am dus \u00een ap\u0103, cu un aer sfid\u0103tor.<br \/>\nDar c\u00e2nd m-am \u00eentors, am avut o surpriz\u0103 nepl\u0103cut\u0103: vecinii mei nu mai erau acolo. Nu mai erau nici hainele mele. Telefonul fusese \u00eenghi\u021bit \u0219i el de rechinii de pe uscat.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>-Salut, Vasile! Ajut\u0103-m\u0103 \u0219i pe mine cu 400 de lei pentru 2 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni c\u0103 am nevoie mare.<\/p>\n<p>-Salut! Marele filozof Confucius a spus a\u0219a \u201ddac\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219ti un om fl\u0103m\u00e2nd nu-i da orez, \u00eenva\u021b\u0103-l s\u0103-l cultive\u201d. Deci dac\u0103 vrei bani, te pot ajuta s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi g\u0103se\u0219ti un loc de munc\u0103. Ce zici?<\/p>\n<p>-Eu zic s\u0103 te duci \u00eenv\u00e2rtindu-te \u0219i dac\u0103 \u00eel \u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219ti pe Confucius \u0103sta, s\u0103 \u00eel iei cu tine.<\/p>\n<p>\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013<\/p>\n<p>-Buna! Sunt insarcinata si vreau sa pastrez copilul.<\/p>\n<p>-Te rog nu te supara pe mine!<\/p>\n<p>-Iarta-ma ca indraznesc sa te intreb , stiu ca sora ta e asistenta medicala si poate stie ea un medic bun sa fac o ecografie<\/p>\n<p>-Buna, nu stiu daca te pot ajuta pentru ca sotia mea se uita in telefonul meu si dupa al patrulea mesaj de la tine a plecat de acasa. De ce nu ai scris tot intr-un singur mesaj?<\/p>\n<p>\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013-<\/p>\n<p>1. \u201eMai este Buhnici la mare?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 Ce face\u021bi, m\u0103i, copii?<\/p>\n<p>\u2013\u00a0 S\u0103rut m\u00e2na, mama, uite pe acas\u0103, voi?<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 Noi bine. Vreau s\u0103 te \u00eentreb ceva.<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 Spune mam\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 Vreau s\u0103 vin \u0219i eu vreo trei zile la mare cu bunica ta , dar nu am avut timp s\u0103 ne \u00eensciem la\u00a0 sal\u0103, mai este Buhnici la mare sau putem veni lini\u0219tite?<\/p>\n<p>2. \u201eCuplul in vacanta\u201d<br \/>\nUn cuplu decide s\u0103 plece \u00een Caraibe. So\u021bia decide s\u0103 vin\u0103 mai t\u00e2rziu, din cauza serviciului. C\u00e2nd so\u021bul a ajuns la hotel, a decis s\u0103-i scrie un mail so\u021biei, dar a gre\u0219it o liter\u0103 din adres\u0103 \u0219i mailul a fost trimis la o alt\u0103 adres\u0103.<br \/>\nMailul ajunge, din gre\u0219eal\u0103, la o v\u0103duv\u0103 ce venise tocmai de la \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntarea so\u021bului. Ea cite\u0219te mailul \u0219i le\u0219in\u0103. \u00cen mesaj scria:<\/p>\n<p>\u201dDraga mea, am ajuns bine. Probabil te va surprinde s\u0103 prime\u0219ti ve\u0219ti de la mine pe aceast\u0103 cale, dar acum am calculator aici \u0219i po\u021bi trimite mesaje persoanelor dragi. Doar ce-am ajuns \u0219i am verificat ca totul s\u0103 fie preg\u0103tit pentru venirea ta, vinerea viitoare. Abia a\u0219tept s\u0103 te vad \u0219i sper ca aceast\u0103 c\u0103l\u0103torie s\u0103 fie la fel de lini\u0219tit\u0103, ca a mea. Nu-\u021bi lua multe haine, c\u0103 aici e o c\u0103ldur\u0103 infernal\u0103\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>3. Doi prieteni de vorb\u0103 la o bere:<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 Ce ai, m\u0103? Te v\u0103d suparat!<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 A aflat nevast\u0103-mea c\u0103 m\u0103 culc cu bona \u0219i de atunci \u00eemi face via\u021ba un calvar!<br \/>\n\u2013 Vrea s\u0103 v\u0103 desp\u0103r\u021bi\u021bi?<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 NU! Mult mai r\u0103u! Acum, c\u0103 nu-mi mai arde figura c\u0103 sunt impotent, a concediat bona \u0219i m\u0103 pune s\u0103 m\u0103 culc cu ea!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am preg\u0103tit o selec\u021bie de cele mai bune bancuri ca s\u0103-\u021bi mearg\u0103 bine toat\u0103 ziua. De data aceasta, avem un top al celor mai haioase bancuri cu \u0219i despre pensionari. Am cules de ici-colo bancuri, glume, dar \u0219i povestioare amuzante \u00een care protagoni\u0219tii principali sunt domnii \u0219i doamnele trecu\u021bi de prima tinere\u021be. Haide\u021bi s\u0103 vedem [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7531,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diverse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7530"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7532,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7530\/revisions\/7532"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bumzi.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}